Topic: Panic attacks/blushing

Hello All,

I get really bad panic attacks because I can't stop blushing and I feel so ashamed of myself, I am always anticipating other people emotions when meeting people I always evaluate before hand what they will think of my red face. I know it sounds stupid and I have always been really confident up until a few years ago when my a friend who was the same sex as me who is a straight girl, showed all these guys naked photos of me and now I just feel so ashamed of myself and as a result I just can't stop blushing. I am no longer friends with these people and it has been many years later but as a side affect I feel still so ashamed of myself and I feel my confidence has been stripped away because of this.

Its really refreshing though just to talk about it as I have never told anyone the reason I blush so much, but just wanting to know if anyone else has had a similar experience and how did they go about this?

Dear Mad1990,

We want to thank you for having the courage to post about your embarrassment around your appearance. We are a helpful and supportive community here, and you are very welcome.

This may be hard to believe, but many of us worry about how we look, and how much is everybody judging us. Perhaps, there might be some better questions to ask ourselves.

How much does the judgmental person's positive opinion about me really matter to my life?

Do I really want to give the judgmental person that much power over me (to control how I feel about myself)?

We understand how much it can hurt when someone we trusted completely betrays us, like your former friend did when she violated your personal image). So, what do you need inside yourself in order to bring your incredible inner strength in to help you truly accept the fabulous and caring person you truly are?

We are here to help and support you through this journey.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.
 

Hello Dear Mad1990,

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums....

I am so sorry that has happened to you...Your friend did so wrong by you....and it really wasn’t nor still acceptable...

I am pleased that you have moved on from them and they are no longer in your life...

Please try hard to not feel ashamed of yourself....It’s your former friend who done you wrong.....not you!..

Blushing...hmm I’m 66 years old and STILL blush...I used to feel embarrassed about it...but not anymore...it’s a part of me that I have learnt to accept....my blushing is something that I feel is hereditary...I remember my mum always blushing when she spoke to people....

Im just wondering if you’ve spoken to your Dr. about what’s going on with you....maybe you blushing is apart left over from your trauma, that a mental health care plan, set up by your Dr. could help you....by talking through things with a psychologist......Maybe that’s something that you might think about doing....

I am here if you feel to talk some more, which I do hope you do...we are a kind and caring community and really want to help you in any way that we can...

My kindest thoughts with my care dear Mad..

Grandy...

Hi,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thank you for sharing your story. You do not sound stupid at all. What you are going through is quite common so don't feel ashamed about it.

You must've been really upset when your friend showed the guys your pictures. It is great that you have moved on from them. It seems that they were not worth your time.

We are all here to support you. We will not judge you.

Stay safe and i am always here to chat.

Hi Mad1990,

I think I understand your feeling. It's really frustrating.

You said you were confident before, and after all of this happened you've lost your confidence. But I want you to try to think from another angle: these changes exist only in your inner world, your appearance doesn't change, which means, in the eyes of others, you still look like you used to be. You feel like you're getting blushing often, but it's not necessarily noticeable to others.

So, maybe, the only problem is how to persuade that inner self. Why not try to talk to "her", look at "her" in the mirror, is she really weird? is she blushing? is she really hard to make friend with? Maybe the answer is no. If the answer is no, I think you can boost your self-confidence by talking to a really close friend, telling her your inner troubles and asking her the same questions. I guess, the answer is still no.

Hope it could help a bit. Hope one day you will be completely relieved.

Mark

I haven't thought of that before Mark, thank you for that :)

Hello Grandy,

Thank you so much for your feedback, I have thought about talking to a phycologist, but I don't my spouse to think that their is something that is wrong with me and I feel like this is something I am trying to deal with myself :)

No worries at all :)

Hello Dear Mad1990,

Thank you so much for your update..

Please take good care of you....and remember that we are always here for you...anytime you feel to talk..

My kindest thoughts with my care..

Grandy..

Hi Mad 1990 and everyone ☺

Welcome to this caring supportive community darl
Good on you for talking about your ordeal.
Nice hearing you're feeling good about opening up. It can be hard yet liberating.
Also it can create benefits by opening channells for help

Hearing other peoples similar/same situations advice/coping skills & support all contribute towards regaining your confidence which can be done.That doors not shut completely lovey & that you've felt confidence is a plus

The reasons you had it which that cruel low act stripped you of leaves a person feeling defenceless and vulnerable

Those reasons haven't gone they're still there tho buried. Temporarily.
By rememering why you felt good makes it easier to feel better about yourself & takes your mind off the pain that frees your mind to think & apply ways to work on strategies to build up again

It seems like the pain won't change
I know now it can. It's not too late

I too was humiliated. Different tho some similars
Not a good memory but doesnt hurt anymore. I hold hope for you too hun & others

I don't think about it as often now which is good and that I can't change it.

Knowing they were mongrels and I didn't deserve it helped too

Over a few teen yrs I too went through a stage of blushing. It's hard to go through often multiple times daily.

Yip we think all sorts of negatives about what people are thinking.
Thing is that's our thoughts not necessarily theirs

Same as you've realised I too was self conscious and down on myself. Knowing the cause makes it easier to work on. That's another strong coping quality you have. Good going 👍

Maybe although unaware of gaining some confidence helped. It's a good shield we need which maybe you're unaware of tho imo your making ground by ridding them in your life and thinking about why the embarrassment you poor girl 🤗 virtual safe hug

It creates a lot of stress we don't need eh.

For anyone that's does this it's a shocker when people said quite often "oh look your blushing or going Red". Often they were laughing and made a big deal of it.
Yeah good on them!
With fair skin I'd feel myself going several shades of scarlet 😶

You have warmth and support here darl I hope too in real life (rl) as well

Hope to see you again sometime when and if you're up to chatting we're here.

All the best to you lovey ☺

⚘

thank you so much for your wise words I have been reflecting on your forum and it has helped me a lot, so thank you lovely person

Mad1990 hi and everyone 👋

Appreciate that thanks ☺

Hope you're managing ok Mad and able in time to resurface your confidence and be able to enjoy your life ahead.

Best wishes for a good future ☺

⚘