Welcome to the Healthy Families forums!

This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own!

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community and have a read of the community rules. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

  • share on Facebook
  • share on Twitter
  • Print page

Topic: Thinking irrationally

17 posts, 0 answered
  1. Looney Tunes53x
    Looney Tunes53x avatar
    12 posts
    10 February 2021
    Hi all. Have been here before but not for a long time. Have been on medication for many years, I go downhill very quickly usually to not being able to put coping strategies in place in time. There’s always a trigger but it’s not always the same thing. Usually though it’s due to family issues etc which I cant help but dwell on. I’d love to learn how to stop dwelling on things that don’t exist but drive me (and my family) loopy at times. Tips please. 🙆‍♀️
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    8640 posts
    10 February 2021 in reply to Looney Tunes53x
    Hi, welcome back

    Here is a few threads tgat might help- use Google

    Beyondblue topic who cries over spilt milk?

    Beyondblue topic worry worry worry

    Beyondblue topic guilt the tormentor

    Reply anytime. I'm here daily.

    TonyWK
    4 people found this helpful
  3. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    2896 posts
    10 February 2021 in reply to Looney Tunes53x

    Hey Looney Tunes53x , welcome. I like your username, I love Looney Tunes.

    I guess a lot of people would relate to you, I know I do. I struggle myself so I don't have any tips unfortunately and don't want to give you wrong advice. but you could try what TonyWK suggested, looking at those forums? You could search them on Google, or type them in the search bar on the website up the top.

    2 people found this helpful
  4. Looney Tunes53x
    Looney Tunes53x avatar
    12 posts
    11 February 2021 in reply to white knight
    Thank you @whiteknight I’ll check these out today 🙃
  5. Looney Tunes53x
    Looney Tunes53x avatar
    12 posts
    11 February 2021 in reply to mb20lover
    Thank you for responding. Glad you like my name -I couldn’t think of anything else when put in the spot to decide. Being Very indecisive is also a trait which I’d like to get rid of. 🙃
    2 people found this helpful
  6. Looney Tunes53x
    Looney Tunes53x avatar
    12 posts
    11 February 2021 in reply to white knight
    Hey Tony WK. I’ve read the first 2 topics and can see the similarities. Typical scenario is (being naturally suspicious) my brain seems to be on high alert most of the time and when a thought enters I catastrophise it to the point where I can’t convince myself that what I’m thinking is not true. I tell myself this but it’s to no avail. A major blowup with partner is generally the result followed by a few days of complete silence. I want to talk it out but it’s as though my throat has closed over and the words just won’t come. Would a psychologist help with this do you think-it’s becoming crippling. 🙃
  7. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    2896 posts
    11 February 2021 in reply to Looney Tunes53x
    You're welcome, and yes I agree
  8. Amanda2000
    Amanda2000 avatar
    67 posts
    11 February 2021

    Hi there,

    I find the stop-technique helps me a lot. I close my eyes, literally say out loud "stop. go away." Then I open my eyes and try to really observe 3 things right in front of me. I might look out the window - sky is so blue today, that cloud is an interesting shape, the sunlight gives the leaves a pretty glow. This helps me to refocus and forget about the worry. Sometimes the negative-thought comes back so I would repeat the same mental exercise. My worries used to ruin my entire day, but nowadays at least I can steal back some parts of the day to calm my mind and do something I enjoy.

    I cannot get rid of my anxiety-triggers. It's all about ongoing management. Don't we all wish there's an easy cure!

    2 people found this helpful
  9. Looney Tunes53x
    Looney Tunes53x avatar
    12 posts
    11 February 2021 in reply to Amanda2000
    Thanks Amanda2000. So do you think the constant thought diversion works, and gets easier with practice? Sort of like a muscle ; the more you use it the better it gets? . I have tried this in the past but perhaps I haven’t followed through enough. 🤷‍♀️
  10. Amanda2000
    Amanda2000 avatar
    67 posts
    11 February 2021 in reply to Looney Tunes53x
    Whether it gets easier with practice depends on whether I'm having a bad day or a good day, haha. If it's a really bad day, my mind is just too exhausted to do this. Sometimes I just tell myself "It's all too hard. I'll deal with it if my worry becomes a reality." Other times I might need to sleep to reset things overnight. Very often the initial worry gets replaced by a new worry. But the good thing is I can finally see that the initial worry was not so bad after all, and sometimes I can use that to dismiss the new worry.
    1 person found this helpful
  11. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    8640 posts
    11 February 2021 in reply to Looney Tunes53x
    Hi

    Catastophising is common and in fact I do that also. It often comes from allowing things to fume without resolve.

    I'd suggest professional medical help would be an advantage to you.

    The other thing you can try with the help of a partner is regular meetings over a drink. Grad a coffee post dinner on a night when TV isn't good and chat. List topics in the notepad of your phone.

    Finally emotional immaturity can stop you talking. Get the help you need.

    TonyWK
  12. Amanda2000
    Amanda2000 avatar
    67 posts
    15 February 2021 in reply to Looney Tunes53x
    Hi, weekends are generally bad days for me. I find it overwhelming that everyone is at home, there's no predictable schedule/timetable and I feel like I'm constantly on standby-mode. Couldn't relax at all. So I was dwelling on every irrational thought as you had described. Choosing clothes - oh I should've worn the other one/I think I've dressed too warm now. Choosing cutlery out of the kitchen drawer - oh I should've picked the other spoon/it looks shinier. Order of doing things - oh I should've started the dishwasher before doing the laundry. My head was in a mess! I couldn't do any of those self-help mental exercises. So I just had to ride it out. I kept telling myself these horrible feelings will pass. Monday morning I'm in recovery mode. Tuesday onwards I will be fully functional again. But then comes the weekend and the whole vicious cycle will repeat itself.
  13. Looney Tunes53x
    Looney Tunes53x avatar
    12 posts
    18 February 2021 in reply to Amanda2000

    Hi Amanda

    i hear what you’re saying being overwhelmed when everyone‘s around. When feeling anxious I find it’s hard to “turn off” from everything that’s going on and being said which is very tiring. It’s nice just to be left alone in silence just to take a breath and regroup!

  14. Amanda2000
    Amanda2000 avatar
    67 posts
    18 February 2021 in reply to Looney Tunes53x

    Hi Looney Tunes53x, lovely to hear from you! If you have time, I've started my own thread under anxiety - Topic: anxiety at home - cannot relax

    I would really appreciate your thoughts. Thanks.

  15. Looney Tunes53x
    Looney Tunes53x avatar
    12 posts
    18 February 2021 in reply to Amanda2000

    Hi Amanda

    thanks for letting me know -I will go and have a look . Meantime hugs to you 🫂

  16. david'n'goliath
    david'n'goliath avatar
    16 posts
    23 February 2021 in reply to Looney Tunes53x

    G'day Looney Tunes53x.

    When I was busy studying and working simultaneously I actively avoided doing any chores, work or study on Saturdays. A whole day of headspace does wonders for mental health.

    One other tip occurs to me, which is to play sport. During sport we focus on the immediate task at hand, we exercise our mental ability to focus on only what's important right now and practice switching off the noise of the rest of our thoughts. Try Squash or Cycling, they require keen focus on the task at hand.

  17. Looney Tunes53x
    Looney Tunes53x avatar
    12 posts
    24 February 2021 in reply to david'n'goliath

    Hi there. Yes I certainly agree that a day of avoidance does wonders for mental health-maybe there should be a designated day in the calendar 😄😄

    I think it doesn’t matter whether it’s sport or yoga/meditation or indeed any type of hobby eg crochet , sewing etc ; if it keeps you focussed on just that one thing for a time it is definitely beneficial. finding the motivation to do and keep doing is the thing though. Sometimes your mind is your worst enemy. 🥺

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up