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Topic: Unhappy - Forgotten myself

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. BaileyJ
    BaileyJ avatar
    0 posts
    5 January 2020


    My story is about no self control and now it’s led to me feeling quite hopeless. I have spent the last 3 years with my new partner going out, drinking, gambling, travelling etc Pretty much in a bubble but now reality has set in and I’m broke, overweight and generally unhappy to the point where I continue to abuse myself with alcohol and then follows gambling. The result is more unhappiness, and trying to cope with the side effects of depression and anxiety. My strength and character has changed , I have good days and bad days. I spoke to AA and also gambling hotlines but I believe I’m depressed and this is why I keep doing it. I’m not sure if it’s me or my partner that has put me here in this constant stress. It’s like a cant come on my own anymore and I really miss myself. Can anyone help me please.

  2. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    1388 posts
    5 January 2020 in reply to BaileyJ

    Dear BaileyJ~

    Welcome here to the Forum. Having a drinking and a gambling habit is a hard combination to have to deal with, however you have made a very big advance in realizing these are real problems and need to be fixed. In fact you have gone further and spoken to AA and gambling hotlines, but at this stage unfortunately have not received a great deal of effective help. A very good start.

    If there is a possibility you have depression or some other mental health condition then I'd suggest you go visit a GP and set out all that has been happening in an extra long consultation.

    You can be tested for depression and have a program set up to help you with gambling and drink. Having these all coordinated together is much more effective. An exercise program may be an important part of it.

    Your partner sounds a bit of a puzzle, and one you realy do need to sort out. If she is leading on in these ways that needs to stop, on the other hand if she is not then she may be a great source of support.

    Have you talked matters over frankly with her?


  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    3436 posts
    6 January 2020 in reply to BaileyJ

    Hello Bailey, and a warm welcome to the forums.

    We can't say whether or not your partner has put into a position you're now in, only because you have joined them, however, there does become a point where it's so difficult to say 'no more, I want to stop all this drinking, gambling and travelling.'

    These addictions will make you lose control because once you start, you give in, and procrastinate until tomorrow, saying 'I'll start then', but it doesn't come.

    AA may work for many people, but for some, it doesn't address their own depression or they can't relate their own situation to what has been said or their 12 point plan, and that's what happened to me.

    You won't know how you feel, only when your partner wants to continue on with these addictions and to say 'no' will take courage and all the strength you have, but to gain this you will need help which I'd like to you about if you can reply back to us.

    Take care.


  4. Png
    Png avatar
    1 posts
    7 January 2020 in reply to BaileyJ
    I hope you are ok

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