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Topic: "I'm fine, just feeling a little tired" - A Liar

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. rkhurxnx
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    rkhurxnx avatar
    3 posts
    8 December 2020

    Hi... it's me.

    It feels like everytime my mom or my best friend ask me if I'm alright or if something is wrong, I just respond with "It's nothing. I'm fine, just feeling a little tired."...

    I'm tired of being 'tired' all the time.

    Everytime I say 'tired' it seems to mean so much more than sleepy - it means mentally and emotionally exhausted, it means I need to cry until my head hurts, it means I feel really depressed, it means I'm developing bad anxiety, it means I feel lonely despite your love and attention, it means when I compare me to myself I always fall short and I want to know when that started and how I can stop feeling that way.

    Nothing is 'fine' anymore. Or maybe everything is fine and I'm just craving something to be more than 'fine' and I want something to be great.

    I'm not really sure what I want to achieve by posting this, whether it's sympathy, anecdotes of similar experiences or advice, I just wanted to vent slightly about how much I hate the word 'fine'.

    Thanks for reading I guess...

    I hope you will interact with this post but if you don't, I guess that's also 'fine'.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5893 posts
    8 December 2020 in reply to rkhurxnx
    Hey rkhurxnx, thanks for joining us on the Beyond Blue forum tonight and sharing your thoughts with us. We can relate to your experiences of using "I'm fine" or "I'm just tired" to avoid difficult conversations and how misleading this statement can feel to use. We're sorry to hear how stressful life is at the moment and we acknowledge how painful and draining the experiences you're describing can be.

    Although it can be difficult and awkward to open up about our troubles it can also be very relieving. You may find it helpful to get in touch with  Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling (webchat) service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. There are also a number of resources on the Reach Out website that could be beneficial to you, including: We hope that you keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We're all here for you.
     
    1 person found this helpful
  3. jumpy jellyfish :-]
    jumpy jellyfish :-] avatar
    261 posts
    8 December 2020 in reply to rkhurxnx

    Hey rkhurnnx,

    Like Sophie_M said, I can completely relate to these feelings of being isolated by saying that you're 'fine' or 'just tired'. It's a really tough thing to manage because it can make you feel isolated in your struggles with mental health. Even if you only get one thing out of this, I want to make it really clear that we are all here for you and understand exactly what you mean and how you're feeling because, a lot of people unfortunately feel this way and you're not fighting this alone.

    From the responses you outlined that you have to people either asking how you are, or something you just say to your friends and the people around you I'm assuming you struggle to open up about how you feel. I would suggest that, even though it feels like you're trapped by these feelings that you try confide in someone that you trust like your best friend and even if it's still pretty general, taking the first step in saying 'hey, recently I feel like I haven't been in the right headspace and it's really getting to me' can start off the conversation enough for you to feel comfortable in the future.

    I understand that it can seem daunting to open up to people otherwise you wouldn't be in your current situation but I want to plant this seed in your head. Think about how you would react if someone opened up to you about the struggles that they had been facing (much similar to yours right now). Would you judge them? Tell them they were being stupid? Of course not. I'm assuming based on the way you've come across as a very socially intelligent person that you would provide them support and comfort no matter what. Would you friends really act any differently? Chances are, they will have your back just as much as they would have yours. Just keep that in mind :)

    2 people found this helpful
  4. Bro19
    Bro19 avatar
    1 posts
    9 December 2020 in reply to rkhurxnx

    Hey,

    I understand how frustrating it is when you’re feeling this way. You’re confused, you don’t know what you need to stop this, and you prevent yourself from getting help or support because of insecurity or not being able to trust people or just angry because they won’t understand you. So by saying your fine, you are just shutting them out when you don’t mean to. What really helped me was telling my parents what they needed to do for me. I needed my mum to listen and not comment on anything when I told her how I felt. I told them when to give me space and I told them what forms of love and security I needed from them. I know it sounds demanding but when they want to help you they will do anything.
    I don’t know if this is good advice but when I feel this way I do activities that make me feel anything else. Like watching a horror movie, or experiencing something new or something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. I wouldn’t suggest trying this if you have anxiety but it makes you think about other things. Because I know there is no way to escaping your illness, so distraction is what I do.
    Take this information from a teenage girl whose grandma died from COVID and has had major depression for 3 years and now has recently been diagnosed with ADD as well. This year was sh*t but some how I made it through and I’m proud of that. I’m proud of everyone that made it through this year, because it was hard.
    I hoped this helped, just another idea.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    12306 posts
    9 December 2020 in reply to rkhurxnx

    Rkhurnx’s

    It is hard, if I don’t know someone I say I am ok but if I can trust do done will listen and

    understand I will be honest.

    I have a bad year due to the fires and if people ask I might say ups and downs Or I am struggling.

    often I find if I am honest about feeling overwhelmed others will open up and trust me with their feelings.

    1 person found this helpful

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