Hi... it's me.
It feels like everytime my mom or my best friend ask me if I'm alright or if something is wrong, I just respond with "It's nothing. I'm fine, just feeling a little tired."...
I'm tired of being 'tired' all the time.
Everytime I say 'tired' it seems to mean so much more than sleepy - it means mentally and emotionally exhausted, it means I need to cry until my head hurts, it means I feel really depressed, it means I'm developing bad anxiety, it means I feel lonely despite your love and attention, it means when I compare me to myself I always fall short and I want to know when that started and how I can stop feeling that way.
Nothing is 'fine' anymore. Or maybe everything is fine and I'm just craving something to be more than 'fine' and I want something to be great.
I'm not really sure what I want to achieve by posting this, whether it's sympathy, anecdotes of similar experiences or advice, I just wanted to vent slightly about how much I hate the word 'fine'.
Thanks for reading I guess...
I hope you will interact with this post but if you don't, I guess that's also 'fine'.