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Topic: Anxiety is ruining an important relationship

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. GManInBlack
    GManInBlack avatar
    2 posts
    23 September 2019

    Recently my anxiety had been getting worse.

    I have a friend who is really important to me, and because of my worsening anxiety I've said somethings that have upset them. I've been worried that I might lose them or that they find me annoying or they are losing interest in talking to me, their friendship means a lot to me and they've helped me through a lot and i don't know what i am going to do if i do lose them.

    Since they live over 30 minutes away there aren't many chances for us to meet up so our main form of communication is through text, I've sent an apology to them, which explains to them my worsening anxiety (which they already knew about}, but i haven't gotten a response from them.

    I need help on how i can fix this, i really don't want to lose them and i don't think i could handle screwing up this relationship.

  2. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    geoff avatar
    13380 posts
    24 September 2019 in reply to GManInBlack

    Hello GManInBlack, I'm sorry for what's happened and to know that you're struggling with anxiety is disappointing for you.

    Sometimes our closest and dearest family or even friends are unable to continue talking with us, simply because they don't have the understanding of what to say or how to deal with us, and I've lost many close friends in the process.

    I'm not sure whether or not you have actually met each other, but perhaps they haven't replied because they want to help you and are trying to find out the best way to do this.

    Maybe you could meet halfway, that's something to offer so you can get their feeling.

    Can I ask if you have been able to speak to anyone else about is concerning you now and in the past.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

  3. GManInBlack
    GManInBlack avatar
    2 posts
    24 September 2019 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff

    We have met a few times, and every time is goes well. We've both opened up about our problems, and I get their feelings, but I don't know if my constant anxiety attacks have ruined our relationship

    I have tried speaking to my parents about it, but they don't seem to get it and only tell me to "get over it". Two weeks from now i am seeing a GP about my anxiety.

    I really don't want to lose them, they mean a lot to me

  4. JKingLiz001
    JKingLiz001 avatar
    9 posts
    28 September 2019 in reply to GManInBlack
    Hi. I am sorry to hear that. As a person who has lost most of his friends to anxiety, stress and depression, I am unable to help, however having gone through it has given me the ability to give you some advice.
    In a situation such as yourself it would presumably be hard to tell others about what's going on. You have passed the hardest stage. Admittedly, is it better than hiding it (talking from experience). Some people are unable to take news like that because they may become worried or have preconceived ideas of anxiety. Please try to stay strong for now. Maybe your friend just needs some time to wrap their head around what you have said. So I suggest waiting some time for them to do so, yet don't stop staying in touch.
    Good luck with everything.

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