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Topic: Christmas depression

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. london1298
    london1298 avatar
    3 posts
    26 December 2020

    I recently had a big fall out with my step mother. When I was staying at my dads house I became really sick and my mum came over because my dad and stepmom were at work, ultimately I ended up in hospital. Later that night I got back to their house and my dad told me that my stepmom wouldn't come out and say hello (or check to see how I was...) because she was angry that my mum had been into their house for 5 minutes before driving me to hospital (keep in mind that my stepmom had been over to my mums house many times, swam in our pool etc) even though it was my only option as they had both left for work and left me home alone even though they knew i was having trouble breathing. I later heard an argument between my dad and stepmom where she called my mum some awful names (this is because of her own insecurities and because she hates that my dads family really loves my mum) but I was so disgusted by what I heard that I just left the house and made my dad drive me to my mums.

    I hadnt spoken to my stepmom until a couple of months before Christmas, she did apologise but that incident was really hard for me to forgive because my mum is so lovely, and even when I told her about the nasty things my stepmom said, she told me to try to be understanding of how my stepmom is feeling, and still has never said a bad word about her.

    This brings me to the reason i am writing this post. We had christmas lunch today with all of my stepmoms family, who I havent seen since the incident. we all gathered for presents, and all of the children must have gotten 10 presents each from grandparents, uncles and cousins, and my sister and I sat there the entire time and got one small present from my dad and step mum. It isn't the presents/ monetary value that upsets me, but what it represents. My dad and stepmom clearly spent a lot more money on my 'cousins' presents than for their own kids, and my 'grandparents' bought presents for 8/10 grandchildren, excluding me and my sister. it was honestly heartbreaking and humiliating to sit there and watch everyone open these presents and have such a great time, but feel so unwanted and not part of the family.

    This is a huge difference compared to the last 6 christmases we have spent with my stepmoms family where my sister and I received the same amount of presents as each of the other kids. It worries me that my stepmum has twisted the story and made her family hate me and my sister. and the fact that my dad never said anything really hurt.

  2. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    geoff avatar
    14905 posts
    26 December 2020 in reply to london1298

    Hello London1298, welcome to the BB forums and for posting a disappointing situation for you and your sister.

    For me to have a conversation with my step mum wouldn't matter because she was too loud, demanding and everything had to go her way, a distant cry from when Mum and Dad's marriage was a viable one, although I was married when step mum appeared, so it's slightly different to your position, but the principle is certainly similar.

    You have a mum who undoubtedly loves you, different to your step mum who seems to get what she wants, swims in your pool and does seem to be jealous of your mum, that's what you should be proud of, your mum has better connections with your side of the family.

    I'm sorry about what happened this Xmas, because all children should receive an equal amount of presents and when this doesn't happen, then how could you possibly enjoy Xmas day.

    Can I ask if you were able to ring your mum, tell your dad that you want to be with her, simply for the reasons you've pointed out to us, no child should feel unwanted like in a situation like this or at all.

    If you tell your dad then hopefully, he will know exactly what's been happening, so I'd like to know how you feel.

    Geoff.

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