I don't want to, but I feel like dropping out is my only option.
I'm more than halfway through year 11 and really struggling with depression/anxiety. It has really impacted my school life and motivation. I have sought help from school resources (counsellors/tutors), as well as doctors. The school has become more frustrated with me, as I have been failing to turn in assignments and attend school all together. I discussed options with the deputy and they kept bringing up pathways (as explained, would take 5 years to complete), repeating yr 11, TAFE as well as other alternatives to getting to Uni.
The thing is, I don't have a problem directly tied to school. I've always loved it. There's just been a lot going on in my personal life that makes coping in general very difficult. Which is why my doctors recommended against these options, as I would be deprived of social interaction and mile stones that mean a lot to me (such as graduating with my friends)-missing out would possibly making my mental health status worse. There was no in between. So I kept going to school, attending even when I was sick, not sleeping, and over all not mentally okay. Because I needed my attendance up. I was told to "just show up and turn things in, even if they aren't 'good' year 11 isn't important."
I've really been trying.
My trying is getting out of bed and stepping into that school, that takes all my effort.
I try not to have panic attacks in class.
I feel like my try is not good enough to them though.
I called in sick again today because I've been constantly breaking down over this. My parents said they copped a lot of heat for calling in since I've taken too many days off, the school said I should consider dropping out. Maybe I'm close minded and should embrace other options, it just seems like I'm always back to square one. I want to give up. But at the same time I don't. I really want to go to formal and graduate with my friends and have a send off to Uni. I don't know if my dreams are more important than my mental health though.
I need some advice. Thanks for reading this long essay.