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Topic: Does anyone have any advice on how to fulfill social needs without a partner?

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. MoodedOut
    MoodedOut avatar
    3 posts
    13 June 2021
    21 year old male here, recently graduated university and working full time in the land down under.

    I would say I am a social person who desires frequent close contact with close friends. I don't have a girlfriend, as mentioned in the title so, it is a bit difficult.

    For some background, I do have 1 or 2 close friends near me but I probably only hang out with them once or twice every two weeks (they are still in university).

    I have a need to socialise more than that (probably 2-3 times a week), even though I do appreciate my time spent with them. Recently, I've had an idea to do zoom calls with friends who live further away from me, who would otherwise be impractical to hang out regularly due to the distance. Even though it's not irl, I reasoned it's still a good complement to hanging out with my regular friends irl. Still need to test this idea out though.

    The issue is, sometimes there's periods where noone is available and I get really lonely and depressed. It used to really affect me, but I've recently been taking depression medication, so it isn't such a big deal now. However, it still does affect me in some capacity.

    Does anyone have any idea on how to deal with the feeling of being lonely/depressed when no-one is around? I find if I don't deal with it directly, I enter into some pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drowning myself out with TV. Any help is appreciated.
    1 person found this helpful
  2. Notsleepyiswear
    Notsleepyiswear avatar
    1 posts
    15 June 2021 in reply to MoodedOut

    Hi MoodedOut, I'm a 24 year-old male that isn't outgoing. Being very reactive socially more focused on other people problems I have a hard time expressing myself. Which makes social situations challenging. And it increases with the amount of people.

    To me you sound like an extrovert that is too conscience of his isolation which causes some kind of feeling of being unloved or missing out. Sorry if you feel miss labelled, please tell me if you disagree!

    I'm on here looking for a stranger that's as similar to me so I can talk about my darkest problems to. Therapy is soo damn expensive.With each passing day every problem terrifies me and rips me apart causing Self hate and despair.

    Looking forward you your response!

  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    geoff avatar
    14683 posts
    16 June 2021 in reply to MoodedOut

    Hello MoodedOut, and welcome to the forums.

    Whether or not you have a girlfriend at your age is only a concern if this worries you, otherwise, there are many ways you can entertain yourself, but being lonely can cause depression, although I'm not a doctor to say, just know from experience as one bad occasion can well lead onto others.

    These last 12 months or so have made the situation with lockdowns, borders closed and the number of people you allowed to have in your house rather difficult, so a majority of people have also lost contact with those they know, never the less this doesn't help you, but having depression can make you feel lonely and the reverse can still happen.

    There are activities you can enjoy starting with just yourself, although again these have been restricted lately, however, golf, joining a railway club are a couple of options if you are interested and hope you can get back to us.

    Geoff.

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