I know it might not feel like it, but there are many people, including many your age, who do not have a desire to party, drink, etc. and who have fun in other ways. The way the people you are describing like to spend their new year's eve is not necessarily a bad thing, but it also doesn't have to be the thing that you do on any given weekend or to welcome in the new year.
I also struggled with these feelings in my late teens and through my early to mid-20s. But as I got older I began to feel comfortable with telling people that i didn't like to drink all that often and that I preferred catching up one-on-one or in small groups only. I simply don't feel comfortable attending a big group event - and that's ok :)
In my 20s I did feel like I was more popular if a greater number of guys were attracted to me, or I felt that somehow guys would be more willing to spend time with me if I was willing to give them a physical relationship too. While some people (guys or girls) might be looking for that, it's certainly not representative of all people. There will almost certainly be people out there looking for different types of connections - many of which will match what you're looking for.
I personally find it exhausting to keep doing something (like parties) that I don't enjoy or feel comfortable doing.
Maybe, if you feel you'll be left out by not going to these events, could you get in touch with one or two of the group from time to time to arrange small catch-ups eg lunch, brunch, etc? That might even be a nicer way to get to know a few from the group who you feel comfortable with, without the presence of alcohol.
At 36, I'll be having my first non-eventful NYE in 20 years - I'll be sitting at home watching movies with my baby nephew and my cat. My partner is stuck in Sydney this end-of-year due to COVID-19 and I am in my beautiful home in Melbourne. It's not the NYE I imagined, but I'll be in my comfy PJs, with two creatures that I love to the moon and back, 100m from my fave fish n chips shop and 10 steps from bed.
Be yourself, love yourself, be proud of yourself and, in time, you'll attract some special people who share your values and enjoy similar things.
Best wishes, and enjoy the fireworks on TV, if that's what you decide to do xo