Hello Jessie, we commend you for being so brave in posting your comment, it's not easy to, especially at your age, so thank you so much for reaching out.
I only wish this is what I could have done years ago, but BB wasn't available back in those times and like those above all we want to do is help you.
Never believe you are faking it, please never because how you are feeling and definitely thinking may have an explanation, and I'm not a doctor but can certainly relate to what you're saying.
It doesn't matter what age anybody is because if they are thinking like what you have told us, then it's so hard for people to actually believe what their thoughts keep telling them, especially about people they regard as being a friend, however, if you do have OCD then all of this is absolutely possible and I've had to struggle with this for a long time myself and know what you are saying.
There is a way to understand these thoughts if you google or place this in the search bar at the top of the page, 'intrusive thoughts', this will explain exactly what you're thinking about and help you realise that many other people also suffer from it, but it can be helped, just ask your parents you need to see the doctor, makeup any reason you want if you don't want to tell them, just yet, because it's not something you want the world to know about, simply because they wouldn't understand, as those who don't have this illness, don't understand, no matter how hard you try, but if you like can tell them later on in life.
Please Jessie you are no different than a large portion of the population who suffer from this.
Really hope you can get back to us.