Topic: Hi

Hi everyone, I am new here so I am a bit nervous to be opening up. Before I start I just wanted to say I hope u are all well. I guess I should tell u a little about myself.

3 or 4 years ago I went to headspace for the first time. I had been struggling long before then but I had only just got the courage to ask my parents if I could go to therapy. I started to go pretty regularly and I was comfortable with my therapist. However, about 12 months afterwards I stopped going. This was a result of circumstances (my therapist decided to start their own practice, it was getting expensive).

During my time with headspace, my therapist conducted some assessments which indicated that I had anxiety and OCD. However, they were a strong believer in not labelling things so I never got a diagnosis. This has made life very difficult. I feel as though I cannot say I have OCD or anxiety as I am not officially diagnosed. I feel like a fraud and do not want to promote self-diagnosis.

Since my time at headspace I have not gone back to therapy. I have fallen into this space where I once again am too scared to start the process to go back to therapy. And life since then has been one of ups and downs. I have had some good times but I have also had some really bad times. And now I find myself in a really bad mindset. With nobody to contact for support. This is perhaps the lowest I have ever felt in my life.

I know I need help. I have seen what can happen when something is left too long. But the problem is I can’t wait 6-8 weeks to get into headspace, I need help now. I want to get an official diagnosis so I can begin to embrace recovery. I want to be able to sleep at night without my brain filling with intrusive thoughts. I want support so that I can continue working through what is going on.

Recently I have had a regular intrusive thought which is rather scary for me. It is what I guess u could call the last nail in the coffin. It signals to me that I need help now. That this can’t continue.

Anyway I will stop there as I am sure I am boring u by talking about myself. I hope u all have a good day.

Hi Eclipse0433, 

welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thank you for sharing your journey with us. It is so great to hear that you sought your parent's permission to go to therapy and were consistently attending for 12 months. Well done! We understand how daunting this process is to begin and it is a great first step that you acknowledge you need help. 

We'd recommend getting in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

One of the professional mental health counsellors at either Support Service will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area. You may also like to read through the Reach Out website for relevant resources:

• Not sure what's wrong? Try NextStep
• How to call a helpline
• Part 1: Getting yourself a mental health care plan
• Part 2: Using your mental health care plan

Hi Eclipse0433, welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience with Headspace, I also have and mine was quite traumatic (in a centre).

This is just a friendly suggestion, but it would help having a GP, Psychologist and/or Psychiatrist. The GP and Psychiatrist can make diagnoses, I'm not sure about Psychologists. Yes it's scary to get diagnosed, but it can also help having answers and that way you can search for treatment.

I hope that's somewhat helpful to you.