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Topic: how to find yourself again after finishing school?

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. Guest_236
    Guest_236 avatar
    13 posts
    3 September 2021

    hi again, looking for some advice. tldr: after many years of focusing on school, i have time AND mental stability, but can't seem to find any enjoyment or satisfaction in my hobbies anymore; help?

    I used to love drawing, watercolour painting, photography, creative writing, singing, i was even learning piano for a while... but that was years ago. and a lot of those creative outlets were used to get me through dark times. but then i got busy with school. every time i wanted to get back into my hobbies i'd get worried i'm wasting my time, so i kept telling myself "after this set of exams, after this last assignment, during these school holidays..." but then it would never happen.

    but now i have the mental stability (i'm doing a lot better these days, most days) and the time (i just finished my trial exams, so i have 2 entire months to be more balanced in my lifestyle) to focus on my goals, one of which is to have some more unplugged me-time. but all the hobbies i used to love just make me frustrated. i think it has to do with confidence, not liking what i create, comparing my art to my friends' art because they're so much more skilled than me... so i end up losing motivation 10 minutes in and crying because i feel so useless.

    has anyone else struggled with this? how did you get back into your hobbies after a long hiatus? how do you find enjoyment rather than frustration when creating? are there any new hobbies or other art forms you think i should pick up?

    and most importantly, how do i find myself after neglecting my inner self for so long?

    Tea <3

    1 person found this helpful
  2. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    12421 posts
    4 September 2021 in reply to Guest_236

    Guest

    what. Great thread asking many interesting questions.
    I much older than you but I relate to once finding pleasure in creative things then giving them up.

    In lockdown I tried drawing and even collage but I would do it once then give up.

    I know when I got stable after many chaotic years I was unsure what I liked anymore.

    I like writing but it is for me I know I won’t get published or anything but I write a weekly blog on another website.
    I feel give it time you will find the things you like doing or maybe new things. Sometimes you can try many things before you find something you really like.

    Please don’t compare your creative results to others as they are your results , your creations. I know it is hard not to, but others maybe thinking their creations are nit as good as yours.

    well done for achieving what you have,

  3. Sophia16
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    Sophia16 avatar
    129 posts
    4 September 2021 in reply to Guest_236

    Hey!

    Congrats on just finishing your trials! I'm sure you did amazing.

    I finished school 2 years ago and I completely understand where you are coming from. I have played the piano for 13+ years, and have lost my passion. That's what happens to us. We mature and start to like new things.

    I used to compare myself with my friends who played the piano and they were a lot more professional than me. Or so I thought. My teacher then told me that I was amazing and the way I played was unique.

    So you see, you can compare yourself to others as much as you want. At the end of the day, everyone is unique. Your art is probably amazing even if you think your friends are better.

    Now I teach piano to young students. Ever since then, my passion has come back. Sometimes having a break from what you love can come back after a period of time. you start to miss it.

    Hope you are going well!

  4. Nervybella
    Nervybella avatar
    141 posts
    6 September 2021 in reply to Guest_236

    Hi Tea

    what a good topic for a thread!
    I finished school going on 6 years ago, and the transition was very hard… from losing friends, distancing from others, adjusting to uni and then work, moving away from family, realising how life works… the list goes on!

    I can’t say that I’ve got things sorted out now but it absolutely gets easier! Don’t be too hard on yourself

    what I have found useful is to try lots of things. I found that during school a lot of pressure was placed on following the “standard” pathway when really this is rarely the way it works for most people

    in regards to your hobbies, how about trying something brand new? Or just plan to do your hobby for a short period of time each day and work up to extended periods? Maybe that’ll be easier?

    feel free to reach out again, always happy to lend an ear

    best

    bella

    1 person found this helpful
  5. jaz28
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    jaz28 avatar
    204 posts
    6 September 2021 in reply to Guest_236

    Hi there,

    I finished school in 2018. I was (and still am) a study freak. I completely immersed myself in my exams and schoolwork, and when it was all over - I too, was "lost".

    I think the break after exams for summer is a great time to focus on yourself. For me, I started by upping my hours at my part-time job as I needed to start building up my savings (that was important to me), and then between work shifts I just did all the things I dreamed of doing whilst I was in Year 12.

    It's easier said than done, but try not to compare yourself to others. Focus on what makes you happy and do more of it! You will start to find yourself again in no time. Just being out of the school environment and having new experiences is enough to help you grow & find yourself as well.

    All the best,

    Jaz.

  6. smallwolf
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    smallwolf avatar
    5770 posts
    6 September 2021 in reply to Guest_236

    there may be things we grow out of. For example, I used to like gaming (MMOs) but after a while I gradually lost interest. But that also gave me more time for reading or other things to do. One thing which my psychologist showed me was this document ...

    https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/-/media/CCI/Mental-Health-Professionals/Depression/Depression---Information-Sheets/Depression-Information-Sheet---06---Fun-Activities-Catalogue.pdf

    some of these might be harder with lock down, but allows us to consider other things we can do that we migth otherwise have not thought of.

    This next part of my story - you said you "end up losing motivation 10 minutes in and crying because i feel so useless". There have been times when I have surfed YouTube or Netflix only to give up. I could kick a ball with my son, or have similar feeling starting a walk. I want to say is that when you are struggling our "gotos" might not work as they did once. It does not make you useless in any way.

    Quick story... talking with a old gentleman about a month ago. He has been doing watercolor painting for a number of years and taking classes. Yet he does not take any of his paintings home. He does not think they are good enough. Which made me sad in some ways.

    I suspect this person does have talent, and you do as well. And I can tell you that you would certainly be better than myself. And if you were able to turn a hobby into a "job"... which would you choose?

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Guest_236
    Guest_236 avatar
    13 posts
    13 September 2021 in reply to Nervybella

    Hi Bella,

    Thank you for your comforting words, it's nice to hear that it gets easier eventually :)

    Also, thank you for the advice! I do think that I put a lot of pressure on myself to finish activities in one sitting. I like the idea of working on it a bit each day, and slowly increasing the amount of time spent. I think this will help.

    Kind regards,
    Tea <3

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Guest_236
    Guest_236 avatar
    13 posts
    13 September 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    Hi smallwolf, thanks for your response :>

    I love this list of activities, thanks! And your advice "our "gotos" might not work as they did once. It does not make you useless in any way." that really helped :') i needed to hear that, so thank you. I'll try keep that in mind more often.

    I liked the story, even though it's a bit sad. He seems like a lovely man :)

    As for a job, I'm actually aiming to be a language teacher, since I'm passionate about linguistics and connecting with others through language and such. It would be cool to turn my creative hobbies into a side hustle one day though. I'll turn this question over in my head.

    Kind regards
    tea

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