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Topic: I've just decided to leave school and I feel lonelier than ever...

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Etho25
    Etho25 avatar
    1 posts
    2 August 2021

    Hi, I'm new to this forum and I thought about coming on here to release the stress that I am currently facing as well as to seek advice.

    About a week ago, I decided to leave school. I am in Year 12, my HSC trials are just around the corner in a couple of weeks. I am leaving school because mentally HSC is just not working out for me at this point in time, especially with the lockdowns. During my time at this particular school, I have never felt an ounce welcome. On my first day (I joined around the end of Year 10), I was assigned to a "buddy" who was supposed to show me around, but instead someone else did because he probably forgot I was new or who knows... Even so, I still tried to be friends with this person and it felt very one-sided - if I wanted to invite him out he would try to find an excuse every single time. Yet he would only invite me out if I was going out with a group of a couple of people, not just him personally. So one day I realised it's not worth my time. While this was happening, I tried to put myself out there and talk to other students within my cohort which I felt just didn't notice my presence most of the time or used me. So as a result, I felt extremely ostracized and constantly spent my recess and lunch in the library without eating any food or drinking water until I got back home.

    My school holidays have been nothing better over the past year - a never-ending mess of study and lying in bed wondering if anyone actually knows that I exist besides my parents. I didn't receive any text message from anyone but one message from someone else in my cohort asking about a mark I received from one of my exams. Not a "How are you going?", just straight to that. I am on here because I would like to seek advice or be able to try and find people which I can form friends with on here around my age (16-18). Since the lockdowns have started, all it has been is a replica of holidays - study and complete boredom. My only friends within my life are online and much harder to relate to as all are overseas. The reason for my lack of friends is not wanting to associate with those who are rather immature (I promise I am not critical of people). Hence, partially why I am also leaving school and trying to find another alternative. Some of my online friends are busy themselves and nowadays is harder to converse with them.

    Does anyone have advice to combat this loneliness while still in lockdown? I am in great need of just someone to talk to.
    Thank you.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5957 posts
    5 August 2021 in reply to Etho25

    Hey Etho25, 

    Welcome to the forums, we're glad you could share the way you're feeling here. It sounds like a big decision, and we can totally understand how you'd want to be able to talk through it with someone. We think it would be good to talk to someone trusted in your life about this. Is there someone in your family, or someone in your school you could talk to? This could be a parent or relative, a school counsellor or a teacher. 

    Lockdown is an incredibly difficult, and often lonely, time. We're so sorry to hear that you've been feeling lonely, but please know that you've come to safe, non-judgmental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.  

    If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with our friends at Kids Helpline. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under, and are available 24/7 on 1800 55 1800 or through webchat here. You may also be interested in getting in touch with Headspace, who offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage.  Please remember you can always call the Beyond Blue helplines anytime you need to talk things through, on 1300 22 4636, or you can use the webchat or email.  
    Thank you again for posting to the site, you never know who else might see your post and feel less alone in their own experiences. 

    Kind regards, 

    Sophie M  

  3. selfcaresorceress
    selfcaresorceress avatar
    4 posts
    11 November 2021 in reply to Etho25

    Hey Etho25. As much as there are differences, I can also find a few similarities between our experiences when it comes to school. I haven't always felt welcome at schools either for the most part and the last school I went to, the first few people I tried to befriend made me feel incredibly one-sided. I've also homeschooled once in the past and am now pursuing a degree online after dropping out in my senior years of secondary. There are points in time where most of my friends have been online and mainly overseas as well, and lockdown wasn't easy either. I'm around your age too.

    I just want to preface this by letting you know that none of this is your fault. Sometimes, it takes a second to find the people we connect with most. Especially in person where school friends, most of the time, tend to be more about who's nearby rather than who we can actually connect with and have things in common with. That's also why online friends can be very different, since there's usually a connection through something mutual and I mean... they live in another country so it's probably not due to them being close-by! It also seems like you're a little wiser beyond your years, which I also get, and your mentality might not match with everyone your age.

    Have you got any hobbies or anything you're interested in? And if not, is there anything you've wanted to try? It can be so lonely being out of school but we have to remind ourselves that school isn't the only place we can forge friendships. Joining a club or class for something you enjoy could help, and I'm sure that there are some online ones due to the country still slowly recovering from COVID. The first time I was homeschooled, having a few friends from an acting class I did really helped. And I'm also apart of a little spiritual group thing full of other actors which has made my lockdowns a bit easier at times. There are so many ways to meet more people and grabbing opportunities to socialise can be more worth it than you think, this is coming from someone with a lot of anxiety!

    I also find that keeping yourself preoccupied helps with the loneliness sometimes. Finding new things to do, working on hobbies, etc. It also changes up your day a bit. All common lockdown advice I know, but it can help at times. I've also joined online communities ( while being safe) where I get to talk to more people (trustworthy discord servers, beyondblue right now, etc) and even though some are overseas, still gives me people to talk to. (1/2)

    1 person found this helpful
  4. selfcaresorceress
    selfcaresorceress avatar
    4 posts
    11 November 2021 in reply to selfcaresorceress

    I'm here if you need someone to speak to and I'm sorry you've been through this struggle as well. Maybe the educational alternative you find could help you meet more people as well?

    Leaving school is never easy but I'm proud of you for making this decision for yourself, you're opening up the door to pathways that celebrate you and let you thrive. I hope that you are managing okay.

    Sending support your way, sincerely selfcaresorceress!

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