This is my first ever post at an online forum and the first ever time I'm actually doing something about heartache while having the terrible fits of crying and anxiety attacks.
I have had depression for most of my life but in my family mental health was such a stigma that I was constantly told to wipe my tears and put a smile and move on. It was only this year I gathered the courage to get help and a diagnosis for depression and anxiety and I have actually grown a lot from therapy. UNTIL...
Well, I met a boy, we were going out for a few months and he was meant to be a rebound (As if that ever works) from a previous long term relationship which actually ended quite badly. Fast forward the great time we had together, he decided to end things with me yesterday. We went for a nice walk and I knew exactly what was gonna happen, I saw it coming.
He said to me "You're just not the person I want to be with. I want a relationship where I can be my partner's best friend and I can't have that with you. And I don't want to hurt you if our feelings get stronger with each other" Fair enough. I understand. It was the right thing to do. We weren't gonna last. We weren't compatible.
It was just REAL BAD TIMING. I have my wace exams in 3 weeks. I am really trying hard to deal with my depression and I am SO anxious all the time and this just made it worse. COVID like many families impacted mine too financially and emotionally. It impacted my performance at school. It affected me more than I thought it would.
Truth be told. I really miss him. I have this terrible habit of caring too much about people who aren't gonna stick around in my life and this just another repetition that's swallowed me up and consumed my emotions. I just cannot stop the crying. I cannot deal with the fact that yet another person just walked out of life so easily. And what really gets me is that he's gonna be fine cause he's done this before to so many people. Its me whose left feeling empty and sad and alone because again I gave too much of myself away to someone who didn't deserve it.
I'm just not coping with this little inconvenience with everything else that's going down in my life right now. I was doing well after getting help with therapy and this just really ruined my progress and I am honestly really scared of feeling this way again.
Thanks for reading.