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Topic: I’m falling apart

12 posts, 0 answered
  1. Izelle
    Izelle avatar
    3 posts
    15 August 2021

    I’ve been so stressed and worried lately, i feel like I’m at the bottom of a dark pit all on my own. School work is piling up and I cant find the motivation to do it in any way, my friends are so distant and i can’t escape from the people I said I would help. I can’t trust anyone with anything anymore. I don’t know who I am. I look at my name and I feel worse. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow, I’m just dragged along everyday but I don’t want to anymore. I feel like I’m sitting on a tightrope. I’ve talked to people but no one has been able to help. I’m trying one more thing before losing my strength, I have no more energy left to try and be keep going. I just want this to stop.

    3 people found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5944 posts
    15 August 2021 in reply to Izelle
    Hey Izelle,

    Welcome to the forums and reaching out here tonight. It's not easy to share what we're going through and it's so brave of you to do so. We are so sorry to hear you are struggling with some highly distressing thoughts and feelings. We can hear how stressed and worried you have been feeling lately and that you're having a hard time connecting with and trusting others. It is a such a difficult place to be in, especially when you're feeling all alone. Please know that you are in a safe, non-judgmental space and we hope you will receive some wonderful support from our community memebrs, many of whom will be able to relate to what you are experiencing. 

    You mentioned you've talked to people but it hasn't helped. Can we ask if you are currently receiving mental health support? Please know that you don't have to go through this alone and that there is support available. Our Support Team is reaching out to you privately to offer extra support.If you need to chat at any time, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. 

    We hope to keep hearing from you on the forums, whenever you feel up to it.
    2 people found this helpful
  3. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    2459 posts
    16 August 2021 in reply to Izelle

    Hey Izelle

    I am so proud of you that you have tried this one more thing before losing strength, here you can share and purge and dump what ever you need to get off your chest, it is safe and we are here to support you.

    I hear what you are saying about feeling like you are at the bottom of a dark pit, well you are not alone and we are here, even if it is with a small torch to make the darkness not so dark.

    I am also proud that you have talked to people, sometimes people don't know what to say or to do, and that is fine too, as long as you keep talking and keep reaching out until you find someone who will walk with you on your journey. I am wondering if you can reach out to the school or to a learning mentor or someone who you can let know that you are feeling overwhelmed and that the school work is piling up, that is it too much to think about and to manage and see if they can support you in this, you are not alone in feeling like this and I am sure that your school will be able to accommodate a plan for you to help you with this work.

    So now it is time for you, for you to fill up your cup and make you the priority. I hear you say that you can't escape the people you said you would help. Maybe a note to them when they do reach out to say "hey, I am sorry you are not feeling great today, can I get back to you when I am feeling up to it myself?" You have acknowledged them and it is a polite and courteous note and if they are really struggling you can maybe direct them to Kids Helpline or to a support service to reach out to a professional, even here if they too need to chat to get some support and let off steam.

    You don't need to know who you are and have it all figured out today, or even tomorrow. Take some time to just let off some steam and to keep reaching out to get some support. Sophie_M has mentioned Kids Helpline also and they have a web based support service if you feel more comfortable to type that to talk, I will put the link here for you:

    https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

    Just note that the wait times may be somewhat long, which is also lets you know how many people are reaching out and that you are most certainly not alone in how you are feeling right now.

    I hope to chat to you some more, if you want to. You matter so much and I would like to listen and to sit with you through this time.

    Hugs to you

    Sarah xx

    2 people found this helpful
  4. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
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    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7553 posts
    16 August 2021 in reply to Izelle

    Hi there Izelle and everyone ☺

    Good on you lovey for reaching out like you have.

    Already I give you Kudos because that's one of the hardest things to do when we're in such a deep downer.
    You expressed yourself incredibly well too. I admire that skill.

    I'm so pleased you have because it shows you still have the strength you need to pull back up.

    I know very well how it feels to be this low and wanting to leave it all darl It's SO dark isn't it. Feels like there's no light and it's just misery.
    That can change Izelle love.

    Truth if I knew then what I now know I wouldn't have given another thought to considering ending it and attempting several times.

    What I now know is...

    • It's usually temporary
    • With time comes change.
    • And that It's in us to get back on to top

    They say there's fear with the unknown....

    There's also.... *Hope*.... that in an unknown future could hold SO much pleasure and happiness.
    Please don't deny yourself of that Izelle you have a right to know happiness.

    Hard to believe I know but truth is you're a lot stronger than you think.

    For now lovey the best thing is not to think any further when thoughts of ending it come... Don't let that be an option...please

    As you can see we are listening care and want to support you.

    Anytime you need to talk lovey.

    Hope to see you soon ☺

    🤗 Hug if you want it and this beautiful








    2 people found this helpful
  5. Izelle
    Izelle avatar
    3 posts
    16 August 2021 in reply to Sophie_M
    Thank you for responding, knowing someone took the time to listen is a great comfort since most people only go halfway in listening when i tell them how i've been feeling. To answer your question, no i'm not receiving support at the moment. I'm debating whether i should or not, since i don't feel comfortable telling my parents about it just yet.
    1 person found this helpful
  6. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    2459 posts
    17 August 2021 in reply to Izelle

    Hi Izelle

    I am so happy to hear that you have felt supported here and that we are infact listening to you and we do care very much.

    What I really liked about that message you left is that you said that you don't know about getting support as you have not talked to your parents just yet. That made me feel like there is hope that you might. It is hard to let someone know how you are feeling and even more so when it is your parents. I can tell you though as a mum that I would want to know and I would want to help and I would do whatever it took to get some support for my child. Can I suggest that your parents would be the same?

    If you find it hard to tell them you can write to them, or even text there are ways to communicate with them and to let them know how you are feeling without having to speak words if that is hard for you. You could even show them this post if you wanted to?

    As we mentioned, Kids Helpline might even be able to talk this through with you and give you some practice on telling your parents or how to have a conversation with them. That alone might give you some encouragement to have the chat with them.

    Can I say to you that getting some help now will be the best thing you have done. The sooner you can get the journey started to feeling better and getting some of this off your chest and dealt with the sooner you can be free of these feelings and get on with your life, a happy life, that you so deserve.

    I hope to chat more to you Izelle.

    Hugs

    Sarah

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1359 posts
    17 August 2021 in reply to Izelle

    Hi Izelle,

    Wellcome to our forums!

    Sorry you are feeling this way it must be difficult for you….

    im sorry you feel that way with your friends, maybe just let them know that you aren’t feeling very well so you can’t help them at the moment….. we are all a lovely bunch on this forum and are happy to chat to you and support you anytime..

    Give your self permission to have some time off for yourself……. Do something nice for yourself…….. have your nails done, watch a movie…. Anything you like……

    Please try to talk to your parents about the way you are feeling I’m sure they will understand and want to help you…….

    You can always see your gp and discuss with them how you are feeling……

    be kind to yourself

    here to chat 😊❤️

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1359 posts
    17 August 2021 in reply to Izelle

    Hi Izelle,

    Just another thing your condition is temporary…….. you won’t fill like this forever……… things WILL get better for you 😊

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1359 posts
    17 August 2021 in reply to Petal22
    You won’t “ feel” like this for ever…… your condition is temporary ❤️
    1 person found this helpful
  10. Izelle
    Izelle avatar
    3 posts
    20 August 2021

    Hey,

    I have another pickle today.

    I have no idea who i am, and i hate that i don't even know one definitive thing about myself, and why i feel like i'm never going to figure it out. I'm also really, really anxious since i don't know what i'm going to do with myself and i'm not moving quick enough to keep up with life. I don't know who i want to be, not who i am, just that i used to be happy and not have to worry about all these things, and i didn't have to feel detached from everything around me. How long does it take to know who you are? Is it worth knowing?

    2 people found this helpful
  11. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    2459 posts
    21 August 2021 in reply to Izelle

    Hi Izelle

    What a beautiful question you bring to chat about today. Can I be totally honest with my opinion and say this… I am 46 years old and am still blooming into the person who I will be. I am am also not the same person I was at 30, not the same person I was at 20 and absolutely not the same person I was at high school.
    As life bring us beauty, experiences, sadness, growth, wisdom, friends that come and go, people who stay for the long haul… a million different combinations here… but every day we learn and grow and our wings spread and we become a version of ourselves at this moment in time.

    I also know that in a few years I will be a different version of me and that to me is so exciting… as I experience more life.

    I understand that you feel like you have to have it all figured out.. who you are, what you want to be, what you “should” be doing in life. I am so sorry that we as a society today are putting this expectation on our young people as it to me is rubbish.

    If nothing ever happens to us… then nothing ever happens and imagine how boring it would be to go through life as the exact same person… doesn’t sound fun to me!

    Start writing maybe, put down some hopes and dreams or what even tomorrow looks like. Even write down the pain and the sadness and now it will pass too… just as the days pass by.

    I think also that you don’t need to move quickly… enjoy the moment.. breath in the sunshine that is outside, take a walk and notice the sounds, the people also out, feel the ground at your feet.

    Happiness is a journey of every day and not a destination I think Izelle, if we can make today some sort of happy and to it again tomorrow we are on the way…

    Can I let you in on a secret? I don’t really think anyone has it figured out! Life is fun like that.

    Hope to chat some more to you.

    Hugs

    Sarah

    2 people found this helpful
  12. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1359 posts
    21 August 2021 in reply to Izelle

    Hi Izelle,

    Thats ok not to know who you really are yet………. Life leads us on a path and the beautiful part of it is that we don’t really know we’re we are headed and that’s the exciting part….. I’m in my 40 s and I’m still growing and I’m excited for my future 🙂

    Always tell yourself something amazing is going to happen to me today……You will begin to see the amazing things…..

    Take things day by day keep learning an opening your mind to new adventures…….

    😊

    1 person found this helpful

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