Dear A Sad Boy~
I guess I cant even start to talk about the people on-line that are so worrying you without referring your other posts, I think this concern is part of a larger problem.
Nobody should cry continuously with anxiety and particularly not have had thoughts of suicide about this, or any other matter.
I suspect there is a lot of pressure in your life, isolation without a roommate, being in Melbourne, away from your home, parents and other family and freinds, plus study, assignments and exams.
I think you were feeling bad as far back as April, at which time you were talking to a councilor who suggested breathing techniques. While they do have their place they are obviously ineffective for you.
I know you said you cannot tell to your family or freinds, only comfortable with strangers.
May I ask why you cannot tell your parents or other favorite family member how you have been feeling and look for advice, care and support?
It may come as a surprise that most parents will have the welfare of their children as their number one priority , and this is despite any sacrifices they may have made to help you get to a Melbourne Uni.
The councilor, which may be a Uni one, can only go so far, and the fact she changed so much when you told her of your suicidal thoghts is not a sign of someone who takes things calmly in their stride
For the moment I'll assume you are entitled to Medicare and would most strongly suggest you go see a GP, and in a long consultation say exactly how you have been feeling these last months. It can take some time, and can be frightening, particularly revealing you have thought of killing yourself, however without knowing what's wrong the correct treatment cannot be given.
To give you an idea why I say this is important, I had a mental health conditon which included depression and anxiety. As it got worse I used to worry to much about just a small number of things very intensively, then the suicidal thoughts started as it was so hard.
I too felt I could not talk to anyone, not only becuse most would not understand, but also in case I was forced to go to hospital (I was not but did go voluntarily later)
I did leave things too late and ended up in hospital, I'm an awful lot better now but it took a long time. If I had talked to a doctor earlier the problems would have been a lot less..
Would you like to say a little more about yourself?
and nobody shoud feel as isolated as you do wiht no support. I know that