hey there jellyfish45,
i just wanted to put it out there that i really feel for eveything you're going through. It hits me really close to my heart, having just left school and struggled in a very similar way to how you are now.
i just wanted to make a couple of comments. my motivations level really went down the drain during yr 12. during my early school years i had always done really well but coming into the final year my marks started dropping significantly. i spent alot of time procrastinating despite my teachers thinking I always worked really hard. i did find myself wallowing in guilty and feelings of lazyness but i just want to validate your feelings that this is most definitely not the case. My lack of motivation stemmed from severe social exclusion through all my highschool years, causing trauma, anxiety and depression.
I can also relate regarding not being able to convey everything when talking with someone in person. I had a very strong and caring teacher who was like a second mum to me. i reguarly emailed her explaining how I was feeling as i felt that this helped me express myself in the way i needed. she was very welcoming anf encouraging of this, so long as i was reaching out in some way.
My only real advice would be to keep reaching out to your support network in any way you can. You are not alone in your lack of motivation, it is a very real feeling. There are people out there that will do whatever they can to keep you going but you just need to find them and keep close to ensure you are supported during this very tough final year.
Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up for feeling how you have been. i hope that you can find some support in whatever way it may be and ensure that you don't keep everything to yourself or push through it by yourself, from experience it makes school even harder to bear.
All the very best.