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Topic: just struggling

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. viac
    viac avatar
    9 posts
    4 August 2021

    I can't find the motivation to get any work at school done, I feel like I'm constantly stressed and under pressure to get practice work turned in and submit uni applications.

    Just everything surrounding school and all the uncertainty with covid with trials and hsc has started to trigger more anxiety than normal. Especially not being able to see my friends in person has been hard, and zooming with them is not nearly the same.

    I've been finding it impossible to get work done or just feel genuinely happy most days throughout the week. People ask if I'm okay and I don't want to be a burden on anyone so I usually answer that I'm doing good, but I'm not actually. I am being relied on for my friends, checking up on them and making sure they are okay, but I don't have much being reciprocated.

    I just honestly don't know what to do, and need someone to talk to and actually be there for me, I just don't really know.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    2459 posts
    4 August 2021 in reply to viac

    Hey viac

    Welcome to the forum and I am so proud that you have reached out to get some support for you.

    See that is the really messed up thing with feeling bad is that mostly people say "they don't want to be a burden". They also say that they are mostly there for everyone else and yet feel like no one is there for them. Can I ask you if you feel like your friends are a burden when they reach out to you? I am thinking the answer would be no as you would be seen as a valuable friend, as a trusted person with whom they can lean on when they need a hand up, and you are there. So I then put the question to you, why are you not worth that same love and care from them? It is hard to say "I am actually not ok", it is hard to say "I am finding things tough atm", but just as you want to care for them, give them the opportunity to care for you too. You are no burden, you are going through a tough time and you need those around you to give you a hand up, BUT..they have to know you need a hand up.

    School is tough, it is so tough and there is alot of pressure and expectation put on our young people who are at the end of senior school. I am not sure why as Uni is not the be all and end all, there are so many varied pathways to careers today that even if you have not the faintest clue of what it is that might interest you as a future job you can still have options open to you. I think a chat to your school councellor to let them know you are struggling might also really help, also to see what they can put in place to take some of the pressure off you, there are some options here too.

    I also wanted to mention the awesome people at Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, they are so amazing and it might really help just talking it out with them, also if you prefer they have a web based support service too in which I will put the link:
    https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

    I hope to chat to you some more as we care so much about you. You are worth a conversation and you are worth the support and I would like to listen and to help if I can.

    I think it is so fantastic you have reached out here today, and brave too.

    Welcome and hugs to you

    Sarah

  3. jessicalou
    jessicalou avatar
    6 posts
    4 August 2021 in reply to viac

    Hello Viac,

    I am so sorry you are going through this - life can be extra tough some times and i hear you! I remember my uni days and all of the deadlines!

    I would firstly advise to start a small tickbox exercise each evening for the following day. This could be written down and planned out so you can rest for the evening ahead/have a good sleep. Look through what needs doing and make a bulletpoint check list. this way you can clearly think about exactly what needs to be done and be clear instead of feeling overwhelmed by your workload. I'm unsure of what course you're doing but if i can help in any way i would love too. A tickbox exercise not only helps you plan your work better but it is also a great accomplishment and a good feeling once you tick that box! Either creating the tickbox in the morning or evening, whatever works for you. If this doesn't help for you, I would really urge you to speak to your tutor and ask for an extension and explain to him how you're feeling - you are not alone! I know many of my friends in uni who have had to reach out to their tutors before and they will completely understand!

    I suffer with anxiety and this covid uncertainty really heightens it, take deep breaths and really focus on the present moment and start to write down your feelings, i feel like this helps get it 'out of my head.' I know you struggle to speak openly about how your feeling but TRUST ME once you speak out and those words leave your mouth it will make the biggest difference for you.

    It must be hard to ask your friends how they're feeling and you don't get it back. I feel like that with my friends back in UK too - I feel like i constantly reach out but don't get it back. just remember this means you CARE and you should be really proud of yourself to reach out to your friends like this. We need more people like you in the world!

    We are living in crazy times right now and it is totally ok to feel the way you do - I promise things will get better for you. YOU'VE GOT THIS!

    sending socially distanced hugs x

    1 person found this helpful
  4. viac
    viac avatar
    9 posts
    9 August 2021 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah,

    I've found that my friends don't feel like a burden on anyone, which is great because it helps them speak opening and I do admire them all alot for that. Yes, I have tried to start speaking about some troubles i've been having but the conversation usually switches back to them, on their accord. And i don't particularly know how to then help them but also ask for help, if when i try the conversation pushes back to them.

    I understand that they are there for me, but I am unsure whether or not when (on only the few times) I have reached out how they will react. Also I never really know how to be starting those conversations because they can get pretty deep, for both people.

    Schools expectations and pressure currently from school is quite alot to handle, and i am struggling to find that motivation to get work done and handed in. Which is annoying as I want to do well, I just can't find any motivation to do study which would help. I've spoken to our school counsellor, which was good and I have a couple of ideas, which is nice but then theres that 'lovely' waiting time to see if you got accepted :) But it is nice to know that career paths are so much more open and there are so many alternate pathways to get there, even if i am not sure where there is.

    I really appreciate the response, even though mine will most likely be delayed as I get really easily caught up and distracted for a few days before remembering to recheck here.

    via :)

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Redblue05
    Redblue05 avatar
    9 posts
    10 August 2021

    Hey Via, I'm glad you have shared this and I keep getting surprised that people have similar problems to me. I know what it's like to feel like a burden on your friends and to constantly look out for them without getting any support back. Lately I've been trying to concentrate on my own problems instead of trying to fix other people's all the time, it's been helping a bit with sorting out my own stuff, so maybe you might want to give it a try. I hope you are getting good support on here and feel less like a burden because you are not a burden, you are just having a hard time.

    Please know that you are not alone in feeling this, sorry for the rant, I'm not great at this :)

    Red

  6. viac
    viac avatar
    9 posts
    13 August 2021 in reply to Redblue05

    hey red,

    I honestly love rants, I think they can help a lot especially when you have them with the right people. Almost like releasing your thoughts, and can help take the burden off yourself - making it more manageable to process what's going on.

    I definitely internalise my thinking and I've been trying to deal with my problems myself, because in the end it's just me and them. I've been finding it good to also try and find people who I know will be there for me, and honestly its really hard. Like I didn't think it would be this hard.

    it's really lovely to meet people who have similar experiences

    via :)

  7. Redblue05
    Redblue05 avatar
    9 posts
    14 August 2021 in reply to viac

    Via, they are your problems in the end but that doesn't mean you have to deal with them alone, sharing the burden with people you trust makes it easier. Yes it can be hard to find people to share it with but counsellors can also help you. I have to admit, I didn't really like going to a counsellor but after going to one for a while, it got easier to tell her things.

    Red

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