I hear you. I've lost track of the number of times I've asked 'What's wrong with me, why can't I stick to anything?'. I do have a bit of a rep for this.
Read a brilliant book called 'Insanely Gifted - Turn Your Demons Into Creative Rocket Fuel', by Jamie Catto. Catto talks about many of the different aspects of self. I think staying motivated or even becoming motivated depends a lot on which sense of self we're dealing with. While my highly enthusiastic sense of self (who can be a real visionary) and my logical sense of self can start a project, it's not long before my deluded sense of self chimes in. For example, I really need to lose weight and improve my fitness levels. Currently at 90 kilos, I managed to get down to 70 kilos a handful of years back but just can't seem to do it this time. I barely get started (on returning to greater health) when my deluded sense of self starts up. In summary, 'Don't be so hard on yourself. Have some chocolate. You know it makes you feel good. It's your 'go to' for happiness. You want to be happy don't you? We'll start the fitness journey tomorrow'. And there I am, happy, or so I believe until I finish what I'm eating. Cue the enthusiastic sense of self (all sad) and the logical sense of self, 'Well, you've done it again. You're never going to achieve anything at this rate', which is true but kinda depressing at the same time.
I do realise I sound a little like an insane woman, all these voices in my head, but we've all got 'em up there rambling in some way, depending on the circumstances. Whether it's the sage, the victim, the child in us, the perfectionist etc, the challenge is to identify 'who's leading the way'. The delusional emotional eater in me has been largely my 'go to' aspect of self while Melbourne lockdowns have been in play. While having to suppress the adventurer, the restaurant goer, the social self, the seeker of excitement etc, the emotional eater in me has had a field day.
Perhaps the lover in you wants to feel love and express love. Self love's a tough one. Kinda crazy and a little sad when you think about it - it's not often a kid is raised to know how to love themself constructively. As adults, we can't exercise what we haven't been taught. Learning and then practicing the art of self love is key to unlocking more productive aspects of self.
Today, I'll love myself by getting on the treadmill after strategically planning what I'll eat. How about you? How will you love your self today?