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Topic: New here and just want to let out some thoughts

25 posts, 0 answered
  1. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    28 August 2020

    Hi,

    As I’ve mentioned this is my first time posting on a forum. Um, so I just wanted to talk about mood swings and how it’s affecting my life so far.

    I’m at uni currently and just switched courses because my previous one made me so miserable, mostly because of my fluctuating mood. I couldn’t bring myself to do much work on most days because my mind was filled with thoughts about how I don’t deserve to be there and how I’m not capable enough.

    I should probably mention that I have experienced these thoughts for many years and have had mood swings for the same amount. I initially chalked it down to hormones seeing how it coincided with my teenage years but later on I began to think that maybe that’s not it. At one point in the last few years, I found myself attending therapy where I was diagnosed with mild depression.

    My main concern is with my studies, because I’ve become avoidant of my responsibilities towards my degree because well... it scares me. I want to go on to study educational psychology myself in the future (hopefully) but my mental health may become an issue as it’s stood in the way of my passion before.

    I really would like to get better but I just don’t know how. If anyone could share strategies that have worked for them or someone they know I’d greatly appreciate it.

  2. Tay100
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    28 August 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    Hi Cron_Crust

    I'm sorry to hear that you have been feeling this way- we are glad you found this forum, which can be a great step in addressing these feelings. You sound like you really want to work through them so you can progress with your degree and your career, despite how low and avoidant you feel at present.

    Using this thread can be a great strategy, firstly- articulating your feelings and your story about your mild depression as you have done can be helpful. This is a safe space where people seek out strategies and healthy coping mechanisms. So I'll add one to start: get fresh air and engage in joyful movement! This can increase your health and overall wellbeing and mood. Start small- it doesn't need to be elaborate. Let me know if you'd like to brainstorm anything else with you- I'd be happy to help.

    Tay100

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    28 August 2020 in reply to Tay100

    Hi Tay100,

    Thank you so much for replying to my post. Honestly, I wasn't sure if I should write on here but seeing how supportive the forums are, I just thought I should give it a try. Thank you again for being so kind.

    Also, I have been getting fresh air and more sun recently since the covid restrictions have eased up. I have been trying to practice journaling nearly every day so I can examine my thoughts and see patterns in my thinking. My therapist had mentioned questioning my negative thoughts which I am trying to do as well. Asking questions about my thoughts has helped me such as when I find myself going through the same feelings over and over again. But when I try to study the thoughts come back so still trying to work on that.

    I'd be glad to brainstorm with you if you're okay with that and with anyone else on here too. Let me know how I can help you guys too.

    Cron_Crust

  4. Tay100
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    31 August 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    Hi Cron_Crust

    No worries, we are here to help- this is a caring, non-judgemental space.

    Journalling is underrated, it's a shame, but I'm glad to hear it works for you. Also that your therapist is helping you manage your everyday thoughts. And yeah, studying or doing other 'boring' things can make those thoughts return, that's a very normal but sneaky thing our minds do.

    Maybe our brainstorm, as you requested, can start there- what to do when these thoughts creep in when we are studying or not engaged/distracted enough when doing something.

    - Do something enjoyable for 5 mins like watching a funny video to steady our feelings and then go back to studying

    -Do some breathe counting for a similar effect

    -Make your study engrossing so you can concentrate on that- use colours and flashcards or a cool note-taking software. Something that makes study hold all your attention so negative thoughts cant creep in when you are distracted.

    What do you think?

    Tay100

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    3 September 2020 in reply to Tay100

    Hi Tay 100,

    Thanks for replying back, so sorry it’s taken a couple of days to get back to you.

    I’ve tried the strategies you mentioned in the past and still continue to do them. They do succeed in keeping me sane.

    I also have some news to share, I’d been meaning to sign up to my uni mental health course and writing workshop for a while and finally managed to do so. I also completed an assessment that I was satisfied with because I did the best I could manage for now.

    These may seem small, but it’s a huge step for me to work up the courage to ask for help. I hope this is an encouragement to other people in this group as well to know that you can win sometimes too.

    Let me know if I can be of any support to you as well. I’d love to listen to you about anything that’s been on your mind ( but only if you feel comfortable sharing)

    Take care,

    Cron_Crust

  6. Tay100
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    3 September 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    Hi Cron_Crust

    No worries at all...You reply in your time!

    The strategies are classics, I'm glad they work- always happy to think of more! It's amazing what people have thought of!

    I'm happy to hear that you felt personal satisfaction with your assessment and that you have the mental health workshop to look forward too. As you say, small wins are possible for everyone!

    It's also so lovely that you are willing to provide time and space yourself if anyone wants to share anything as well- that's what makes this community so great. For me, just counting down the days until the lockdown is over! I've been employing a few of the strategies we brainstormed earlier myself, and there's lots of sunshine today, so that's something!

    Keep in touch if you like!

    Tay100

  7. Jasjit
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    129 posts
    3 September 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    Hi Con_Crust

    Welcome to BeyondBlue online forums and thanks for sharing your story with me.

    After reading your several posts, I still believe that you will become the best educational psychologist! Why? From all your posts - I have noticed that you are very open and honest, this shows me you have insight into what is bothering you. So well done on that!!

    Well, coincidently I was in the same boat!! During my childhood and adolescence, I suffered terribly from social anxiety, generalized anxiety, fear from the future, eating disorders, depression, and that had a profound impact when I started my university. I also went into psychology and completed my bachelors but I just drifted myself - I did not enjoy every bit of it because I was avoiding my responsibilities, like studying for 40 hours per week since, I was a full-time student!! Why? Well, I did not address my inner issues first. From there I also started becoming scared from the future.

    But one day it hit me really hard when I was rejected from my Honours program because of low GPA! From there I started something completely new! I started to visualize myself - that what do I want to become! If I want to become Dr. Clinical Psychologist, someone who treats people - needs to know him or herself inside and out.

    I did not know myself - so I made a lifestyle change! I completely went whole foods plant based, started exercising every day (weightlifting) - burning all the excess fat that I had gained from my eating disorder throughout my school and start of uni. As well as I started incorporating meditation/yoga lifestyle changes.

    Now I have completely reversed all my mental illnesses and currently, I am completing GDPA (4th-year psychology honors) with flying colors. I am starting to enjoy every moment. Because after a lifestyle change I have started to connect myself and know myself inside and out.

    This is what has worked for me. But long story short, tell me what scares you about the future? Is it the job? Is it work? Or long-term committment?

  8. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    3 September 2020 in reply to Tay100

    Hi Tay100,

    Yes, Covid-19 has really taken a toll on us all for sure. Hopefully, the restrictions have eased up a bit where you live. This is a little bit off-topic but something I've been grateful for these days is the chance to see my friends again after nearly a semester and a bit of not seeing anyone outside of my family in-person. I hope that you are able to stay safe (and sane) during these challenging times.

    It's so great that you're getting some sun, it's so lovely since spring is 'round the corner. Speaking of strategies, I've also found mindfulness meditation quite helpful. 'Smiling mind' has some meditations targeting particular age groups and situations, it really helps me to calm my mind when my thoughts feel too loud.

    But something that's been bothering me is that I don't often have so many good days, and when I do the dark ones are worse because the disappointment of succumbing to depression stings more. But I'm going to have to try and keep my mood stable because it's better to take responsibility now even if its hard rather than face the consequences later... I'm sorry about the pessimism.

    I'd love to keep chatting more with you if that's okay. I've found this thread very supportive and helpful and would love to keep chatting whenever I can.

    Take care,

    Cron_Crust

  9. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    3 September 2020 in reply to Jasjit

    Hi Jasjit,

    Thanks for replying on this thread, I think I've seen you on a few others as I was scrolling by. Your optimism is something I admire. You flatter me, for thinking I am capable of being an educational psychologist and for that I thank you. I think you'd be a lovely psychologist too!

    Good job on getting into your honours year! I hear that's very hard to get into. Might I ask which branch of psychology you plan to do your master's in? Also, good on you for making those changes in your life. I have to say, hearing stories about people you are succeeding in what they are doing is very encouraging.

    As for your questions, I would say all of above scare me. I have quite a neurotic personality and find the future, the job and commitment (to a lesser extent) stressful. I'm quite indecisive as well so there's that as well but it's been better over the past few months. Thankfully and fortunately, I have a good support network which eases my worries.

    Take care,

    Cron_Crust

  10. Tay100
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    4 September 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    Hi Cron_Crust

    You can, of course, keep using this thread to chat with myself and others, there's a great dialogue starting, so yay!

    Yes we are being safe and biding our time, just a waiting game now! We can pull through!

    Smiling Mind is great, they are very inclusive and accessible. Found any other good resources lately?

    Also, I understand what you mean about having to manage your mood before things go south, many people relate to this management strategy. Taking responsibility and agency over our feelings and actions can be very empowering. That's how I try and frame it, at least. It's not pessimistic, it's practical. Part of that is realising is that we have to take the (sometimes rare) small wins, and not let the disappointment of a bad mental health day disrupt our taking control and progress overall. Just implement a strategy to get us back on track. Hope that makes sense!

    Tay100

  11. Jasjit
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    4 September 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    Hi Con_Crust

    No problem at all! Always happy to help you out!!

    By the way, something hilarious to share with you, I never even got into my honors year!!! Though I was enrolled in the Bachelor of Psychology Honours program from UniSA but because of my low GPA - I was rejected.

    But then I paid upfront fees to Monash university and that's how I got into. I guess long story short - there is always a plan B! And if you truly want something - there is nothing that can stop you.

    I am interested in a Doctorate of Clinical Psychology, not the usual masters.

    So tell me about how are you going in uni? Which year are you in?

    Also, tell me what is it about the future that is scary to you?

  12. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    9 September 2020 in reply to Tay100

    Hi Tay100,

    Thank you for being so supportive. It really means a lot. Just an update about my mental health right now. I’m going through what I feared, those negative thoughts are clouding up my mind right now.

    But, I have to say even though it is tough right now I’m happy to report that I am progressing through the workshops and I’ve become just a little bit more resilient over the past few days. Despite some personal issues, I’ve managed to stay strong and feel more like who I was before depression hit. I’m trying hard to be positive, strong and have a smile on my face.

    Thanks again for reading. I am ever so blessed to have found this community. I would love to hear what’s on your mind as well if you feel comfortable sharing.

    Take care,

    Cron_Crust

  13. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    9 September 2020 in reply to Jasjit

    Hi Jasjit,

    So lovely to hear back from you as well. Thanks for being supportive. It’s great that your dream of studying psychology is going well. Wishing you best of luck in all your future endeavours.

    I’m going alright in uni. I have been getting mostly credits so I was a bit down. I’m a second year currently. I’ve always been afraid of uncertainty and I guess that is what I’m working on right now.

    Thanks for reading.

    Take care,

    Cron_Crust

  14. Tay100
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    9 September 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    Hi Cron_Crust

    I'm sorry to hear that your mind is clouding up again but glad to hear that you trying to stay positive and engage with positive distractions. I'm happy to hear that our community has helped with that ongoing process.

    And cheers for being open to hearing about how other people are travelling- we know that takes time and effort, too. Apart from the usual lockdown blues all is well for me. It's dawning on me that I need a new laptop soon- so that's exciting but also nerve-wracking. Another thing to deal with, if you know what I mean. Hmmm. We'll see how things go.

    Best,
    Tay100

  15. Jasjit
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    9 September 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    That's great! Second-year is always fun!! So what subjects are you currently doing? Maybe I could help out?

    As long as you are working on it, that's what matters the most! Not the outcome or the result. You are completely immersed in the process - good work! Focusing on the process is much helpful than on the outcome itself.

    Looking forward to hearing your response.

  16. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    10 September 2020 in reply to Tay100

    Hi Tay100,

    Always lovely to hear back from you. I wasn't feeling too well yesterday but thankfully I was productive and got through some workshops and worked on my assessment.

    Sorry to hear that you are feeling the lockdown blues, it can be so hard when your routine changes so much in such a small amount of time. Hope you find a good laptop as well, it can be quite nerve-wracking to browse through all the options out there.

    Take care,

    Cron_Crust

  17. Tay100
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    11 September 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust
    Hi Cron_Crust

    Laptop shopping certainly is a big investment... moreso than getting a car or something, at least for me. It's a long, intense process. Should distract me from lockdown sure enough.

    I'm glad to hear you were still productive despite not feeling the great- and best of luck for your assessment. What's the rest of your week looking like?
  18. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    11 September 2020 in reply to Tay100

    Hi Tay100,

    Laptop shopping sounds stressful, I can remember feeling the same way in the past. Good to hear that it distracting you from lockdown though.

    The rest of my week will be calmer. I have a few days off so I'm looking into working again and also indulging in some hobbies. How about you?

  19. Tay100
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    13 September 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    Hi Cron_Crust

    Computer shopping may take months, as I don't wanna do it solely online, but the stores are shut right now, so there's that hahaa

    I'm glad to hear the rest of the week looks calmer for you, and that you are thinking of getting into hobbies and work...What might that look like for you?

  20. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    14 September 2020 in reply to Jasjit

    Hi Jasjit,

    Lovely to hear back from you. I am working on myself right now and trying to pull myself together. I apologise but I'm not too keen to share too much just so I can keep things private since it is a public forum. Thank you very much for your offer for help though.

    I'll try to keep your advice in mind about focusing on the process rather than the outcome. I think that definitely will help me with my issues with uncertainty. Hope you are taking care of yourself!

    Take care,

    Cron_Crust

  21. Jasjit
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    14 September 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    No problem Cron_Crust!

    I am always here to support you.

    Talk to you soon.

  22. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    14 September 2020 in reply to Tay100

    Hi Tay100,

    Great to hear back from you. Laptop shopping often takes me months too so totally understand haha.

    For me, my week would look more like doing a few things to tidy up my work space, practicing mindfulness meditation like I used to in the past, reading a little, going back to drawing as it helps me calm down and managing my study schedule to have a good work-life-study balance. I sometimes struggle with guilt for not studying as much as I'd like to and getting the marks I want, which disrupts my schedule.

    This is a bit of a pipe dream, but I do want to do some graphic art in the future not as a full-time job but maybe part-time or just as a hobby. I was looking through some animators on youtube and found their stories of creating art very similar to mine. But it could be a good hobby for when I have free time.

    If you had some free time, what would you like to do?

    Take care,

    Cron_Crust

  23. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    14 September 2020 in reply to Jasjit

    Hi Jasjit,

    Thank for replying so soon. Thanks for being so supportive. Looking forward to chat with you in the future!

    Take care,

    Cron_Crust

  24. Cron_Crust
    Cron_Crust avatar
    14 posts
    23 October 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    Hi,

    So, I'm not doing so well at the moment. I think this is natural and everyone has these days. I've had a mediocre week and wasn't successful at a job trial at a restaurant. It's a pity because I was looking forward to this one and prepared extensively managing my stress, interview questions and prerequisites before attending the trial. And all it took was one slip up for me to fail. I know it's small but I just wanted to win at something this week and I failed... so feeling a bit bummed out. Thanks for reading this.

    Take care,

    Cron_Crust.

  25. Tay100
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    25 October 2020 in reply to Cron_Crust

    Hi Cron_Crust

    Sorry to hear about the interview- it can be frustrating when we feel we have prepared so much. Was there any part of the interview that you felt went well, or taught you something important you can take with you for next time?

    Tay100

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