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Topic: New to this please excuse the length

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Confused and hurt
    Confused and hurt avatar
    1 posts
    8 August 2020
    I have recently been involved in a unhealthy household amongst other young people where things escalated beyond reason so I moved from that environment back to my other accommodation and we recently had some visitors who I use to live with and they were nasty to me then so I kept my distance this time around. On of the girls that I live with was seeing this person and did things in which I do not condone in and I found it disrespectful for them to being doing those things within a living environment where others had not been exposed to it. I spoke to this girl about the issue and she addressed that she didn't like to hear I didn't like this person and was quite defensive about the issue and we didn't see eye to eye, I also discussed other issues with her about other people and where things stood, this has since been turned around and twisted and I have been accused of lying. Thursday whilst I was at work I was informed if I come into contact with anyone traveling to Sydney or coming from Sydney I can be asked to remain away from work for 3-5 days to prevent the passing of the COVID-19. I emailed the head resident and spoke to him about my concerns with certain people traveling to and from the area of Sydney, he responded and they are in the process of getting a form out to protect everyone. Friday evening this same girl came and went off at me accusing me of ratting her out because she was planning on traveling to Sydney and I simply said my job is in the line and she then used other information of which was disclosed to her in private against me and tried to belittle me and bully me out if the dorm living. J have since had two panic attacks and am feeling quite fearful for my wellbeing
  2. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5893 posts
    8 August 2020 in reply to Confused and hurt

    Hi Confused and hurt,

    Wishing you a warm welcome to the forums. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and we are so glad that you have reached out here tonight. We can hear how anxious and worried you're feeling, but please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space and our community is here to support you through this difficult time.

    If you feel up to it, we'd really encourage you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support and advice to help you through this.  

    You are not alone here, and we hope that you keep us updated on how you're going whenever you feel ready.

  3. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    10343 posts
    12 August 2020 in reply to Confused and hurt

    Dear Confused and hurt~

    Welcome here, I've read your account and am sorry that you seem to have been put together by life with a set of people that are basically undesirable and thoughtless.

    It is sadly surprising how many never think of consequences.

    I do not know what the couple were doing in an environment where others had not been exposed, though might guess at some sort of drug or weed. If so then I'd think you were more than in your rights despite whatever the girl's reaction was. Only sensible really.

    If I've guess wrong my apologies, if you care you could explain further.

    However all of this I beleive to be a side issue. COVID is very very easy to catch and it's effects, even on the young and healthy can be fatal. If you know of someone who is, or plans to, breach quarantine there realy is only one course of action. You get it stopped, and allow the authorities to deal with the matter.

    It is not just your job, but you, and even people you may not ever have hear of that will bear the consequences.

    Please have browse around

    https://coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au/

     

    We have lot the , a surprising amout encouraging, plus you can see how others have been dealing with things. Have a chat with a council there if you like, all free.

    Panic attacks are truly horrible, and while it might be quite sensible under the circumstances to be fearful for your safety I would suggest you might like to go see your GP and in an extended consultation talk about your situation and those attacks.

    You can't live with them all the time.

    If, like me, they are caused by anxiety then they realy do need some form of treatment, even if only therapy, plus of course if you have been in contact with someone you suspect of breaching the rules, get tested.

    Being bullied and having confidential information told to others is horrible, and can make you feel rather powerless and frustrated at times, even weak. How do you feel about it now, will it work and get you to move out?

    Also I'd like to ask if you have a friend, or family member, to talk to and who will simply give support and care? This would all be easier with someone to lean on.

    I do hope you come back and talk more, you have been having a very hard time of it and we do care, you are not alone

    Croix

  4. White Rose
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    6325 posts
    12 August 2020 in reply to Confused and hurt

    Dear Confused and Hurt

    I offer you a warm welcome to the forum and apologies that you have not received earlier replies except from Sophie. We do try to connect with everyone as soon as possible especially when that person is struggling.

    You are living in a difficult situation which has the inevitable effect on you and your mental health. It is important that you get some help sooner rather than later. Croix has suggested seeing your GP and I agree with that comment. Panic attacks are not good. I say that from my own experience many years ago and how devastated I was recently to experience them again. I had a medication increase to help me but the best thing of course is to take action to stop them happening.

    What do you think you can do to stop being in the firing line of these thoughtless people? Going into COVID hotspots is not only a potential danger for the people who do this. It's also a danger to anyone they come into contact with. Too many people have been seriously ill or died as a result of these actions and I commend you for making a stand. Not easy I know when others bully and belittle you.

    Have you considered living elsewhere? I understand the people who you live with atm are reasonable and you may not want to move. If this is the case, what can you do to avoid being in contact with visitors who treat you so badly? Having confidential information given out to hurt you is despicable and I suggest you are very careful what information you give in future. We all think our friends are basically decent while in reality many will use this information to intimidate you.

    I think you are correct in saying the other girl was defensive and this is the reason she tried to make you look bad. When we know we are in the wrong often the immediate response is to attack the other person. No one likes being in the wrong and it's hard to admit it. It does show little awareness she has about herself.

    May I suggest you consider all your options about the future including where you are living. I gather this other girl also works at the same place as you. You have made your manager aware of the situation re visiting Sydney and can do no more. It seems your management are taking steps to safeguard everyone as much as possible.

    Please continue to post here. We are always here and I am sorry you were left without a response for several days. We will ensure you are not left in future.

    Mary

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