Sorry in advance if none off this really makes sense as I feel like I've just kind off gone all over the place with trying to explain myself. But here you go,
So this is a regular occurrence. I feel like my partner guilt trips me on nights when we're out with friends & then his night suddenly turns bad, he gets anxiety about the crowds, the noise, the vibes etc. Which I'm completely sympathetic towards his feelings & the situation. There have been times where I will stay & alm him & support him by staying with him & we'll go to bed, but when it happens everytime we go out and especially the most recent time, it was a friends 21st, we had spoek about this issue prior to going & we both came to an agreement we would enjoy the night out, do what we could to help him during it so he does stay out with us & enjoys the night but it didn't happen, and I'm not blaming him at all because each person is different, but it's always the same "I want you to stay with me". Which I feel maybe I am an asshole for not always staying or being by his side, and maybe it's petty because it about us going out, but it's always in the time when I want to stay out with friends. He doesn't organise boys nights, he doesn't go if they are organised so I feel maybe it's an internal issue with him, knowing that I'm more off the bubbly outgoing person than he is, and I know he feels bad doing this stuff, he says that at the time but because he feels bad he doesn't want to be alone either so makes him want me to stay more so.. I don't know.. it's really tricky.. and we're trying to work through it & dicsuss it today when he gets home from work, I don't have someone mature enough to talk to about it I also don't want to make him look like an asshole, because he isn't in anyway. I know he is trying to figure his own emotions out & become his own person as he's still young, (19) he's not as self aware as I am in the sense off understanding all these terms & guilt tripping etc but I want to help him, while helping myself & us. I'm also scared he does all this because he's worried he'll lose me if I go out without him, like relationship wise, because I'm older, he's had a bad previous relationship so I feel like that's triggering him a little bit when we experience these outings together.