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Topic: Same Job for 7 Years Causing Burnout, Depression and Overwhelming Stress (I'm a 25 year old male)

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Marville
    Marville avatar
    2 posts
    20 May 2021

    Hi,

    Quick disclaimer, I'm not actively going to make any rash decisions based on a forum post but I will listen to what others have to say and make my own decisions.

    I'm 25 years old and have been in the same job since leaving high school at 18. So for a bit over 7 years now I've been working in fast food. I was quickly given the chance to become a manager after only a year or 2 so I've been a manager there for about 6 years. My problem is that I have hated it since day one. I don't agree with the company, I don't like the bosses, the environment isn't right for me. I took the job because it was my first job and I wanted to start making money and I accepted becoming a manager because it was easy to get qualified for and my pay went up.

    Seven years later, the pressure and depression of working in a job I hate are causing me real problems. Not only am I fatigued and burned out from the grind but I am having problems with anxiety and depression. I'm an introvert so I naturally just don't like being social that much but I have to be when at work. I started physically shaking horribly the other day, totally out of control, when I was dealing with a customer complaint. The customer was not even that bad yet it was like my body was going to explode. Aside from that, when I'm not working I am always having nightmares of work and I am also always thinking of work and how much I hate it. I sometimes have good days on my days off when I keep myself distracted but it always ends with me dreading work the next day because my workplace has taken over my life.

    Anyway I went and saw the doctor about a week ago and he prescribed me something, which is supposed to help me feel more in control during stressful times.

    Do I quit my job? I don't have another lined up but I have been searching and will continue searing for new opportunities. If I quit, I have emergency savings to last a couple months and I have my fiance' that will help pay the bills. We are capable of living on one income but I don't really want to put that pressure on my partner for a long period of time. If I don't quit, I will continue working a job that has so many flaws that I can't fit them in this post, (one example is because of my position I'm not allowed to have sick days), and I will continue to live life the way I have been for so long. The last couple of years have been worse than ever.

    Has anyone else been in the same boat as me? Thanks for reading.

  2. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
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    smallwolf avatar
    5362 posts
    20 May 2021 in reply to Marville

    Hi and welcome to the beyond blue forums

    First of all... Don't take anything I say here as advice. Now I was in a similar position to you some time ago. In some respects I was lucky... Stress leave, change of what I did, I was able to work through it. My parents said to go work at X until you get your life back together. So I stayed for better or worse.

    Now I also have a backup plan. Did some study in stuff I am interested in.

    What sort of things do you like? Or what might you be passionate about?

    Maybe study while working there as a way of planning your exit?

    In all the time since this started for me I have also been seeing a psychologist and talking through things. What was happening at work. Setting up boundaries. Working out strategies to deal with the negative thoughts.

    I cannot tell you what you should do. Only you can make that decision. Would quitting create other stresses? Are you past the point of staying? I don't mind if you used me as a sounding board.

    It also sounds like you have a supportive partner. What do they think?

    Listening to you

  3. Marville
    Marville avatar
    2 posts
    20 May 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    Thank you for responding.

    I was ready to hand in my letter of resignation years ago but I didn’t because I knew I needed some kind of income to live. Not to mention I’d be a bit of a failure if I quit without a plan. Now things are different with my partner working we both agree I could leave if I really wanted to, but I’d have to consider the risk of not being able to find other work, especially in a town where jobs are hard to come by. There’s also the fact if I quit I’d be questioned about if I was making the right decision by my bosses and I know they would try to convince me to stay. That or they’d just tell me I’m making a mistake. I’ve seen how they react when people quit.

    I tried studying while working but with 2 young children it’s very distracting and I just don’t have the time to commit to it. Not while working anyway.

    I don’t have career goals, I never really have, but staying where I am now is not something I want. I have always wanted a job with more reasonable working hours so that I can have more of a daily routine. As it is now I’m on shift work where it constantly changes and there’s no chance of me ever getting into a routine of any kind.

    My interests are things like space travel, technology, PC building, gaming and digital media...

  4. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    210 posts
    21 May 2021 in reply to Marville

    Hi Marville,

    The manager role is a really tough one to be in, and I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through at the moment. You've done really well coming this far (7+ years of fast food experience, with 5+ years of managerial experience), and that's something positive to look at about your current job, and be proud of too.

    While I cannot say what is the right thing to do for you, here are some thoughts for you to consider, and hopefully it will help you with making decisions.

    I feel, it would be best to have an exit plan before you quit your job. Your current job seems to provide you some security in terms of income. To quit now would mean you'd be faced with a new set of challenges. So perhaps take some time to make some plans, as well as a back up plan of your plan, for how you would face these challenges when you quit your job.

    Alternatively, if you feel you aren't ready to take on the challenges of unemployment, you can consider adjusting your work place to work for you. For example, take some time to think through what is it that you hate about your current job? Is there someone at your workplace that can help you with what is it that you find uncomfortable at your workplace? If you speak to your boss about what you're unhappy about work, will they be willing to make some changes to see if they can help you out? Have you been able to take some time off for your own personal care (sometimes, we get carried away with work, that we neglect our own self-care. When we neglect our self-care, we get flooded with negativity and frustration as our body tries to tell us that something is wrong and we need a break)?

    For your career goals, you mentioned that you like space travel, technology, PC Building, gaming and digital media. Perhaps you could try setting a small amount of time (can be 30 minutes, or an hour once every 2 days), to do a bit of research on your passion, and how can you line them up to nab you a career in those areas. For example, if PC Building is my passion, do I have what it takes to be a PC Builder? What sort of skills is the current industry looking for for PC Building? Do I need any further education? Are there any job opportunities or apprenticeship for PC Building?

    I hope that helps. Always happy to listen to you and your thoughts.

    Regards

    Jt

  5. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    5362 posts
    22 May 2021 in reply to Marville

    just further to what Jt said....

    if you like building PC then

    1. I suspect you also know how to repair them.
    2. you would also have a reasonable understanding of the OS
    3. connecting the PC to the network/internet?

    going one step further, I think you might find this easy, perhaps think everyone has a rudimentary understanding of their devices. Yet this is not the case. While I don't know what opportunities might exist in this area for you, or whether there are dozens of people in your geographical area that work in this space.

    It might not be something you could jump to immediately, but worth considering?

  6. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    210 posts
    1 June 2021 in reply to Marville

    Hi Marville,

    Checking up on you, how are things going for you?

    Hope to hear from you again Marville :)!

    Jt

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