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Topic: School related stress

  1. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    17 April 2021

    Hi, i would like start of by saying, i dont know what im doing. i dont even know where to start because of how overwheamed i feel. how to i express my feelings without complaning? i dont want to compalian. so, its currently 4:33 AM and am trying to do homeowork. You may be wondering why? why at this time? well, i will tell you. its becuase the day is not for me. do u know why? its because during the day the house is loud. if i wear my headphones my ears will hurt and i will get fustrated at the noise. i also need to do chores. i dont know what im even saying. i dont even know why im writing and posting this. this just sounds silly. you know, i went to the doctor becuase my chest was hurting, and they said it was becuase of panic attacks, and that i was shaking, high blood pressure, and heart beating fast. but now im wondering if the doctor was wrong, what if it wasnt because of stress? what if it was becaue of the mask i wore for hours at school, not compaing for wearing a mask by the way. During the day my family will come into my room and intrupt me, while i try and do homework. sometimes i fell bad for taking long oding homework, and i wonder if im actullay learning something. i feel like im not good enough. if i go to the libray my parens will be annoyed at the face they have to pick me up and drop me off. i am doing 3 science subjects. i dont really like phyics or doing particularlly well it in it, so i want to change it do HHD, but then there is something in me, saying what if i will able to do phyics and not fail, and if i drop phyicis that not good enough, im not good enough, i am worthless. at the same time i dont like phyics. IDK. tell me, am i overreacting. You know, after that doctors apointment, i cried in the car, while my dad was in it, because i felt like i was crazy and out of control. alsot the doc said i was skinny, hoever i have allways been ksinny, no matter how much i eat i dont gain weight and i also look younger than i really am. when i have a break from doing homeowrk, i struggleto go back to my desk and get going with it after my break, i stat to procarte and how longer breaks. after i do chores, i dont feel lie doing homework sometiemes. idk if its sbecause maybe i found doing the chores as a btter option than doing homeowkrk. i feel out of control. its currently 4:50 AM. what has my life become? idk?

  2. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to Dejena

    Hi Dejena

    I’d love to talk through this with you

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5196 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to Dejena
    Hey Dejena, 
    Welcome to our friendly online community, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage. We're sorry to hear that you're feeling worthless and overwhelmed with school work. It sounds like you have a lot to offer people. We're sure that a lot of our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully some of them will be able to offer you words of advice.

    If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. 

    If you are interested, we would also recommend getting in touch with an organisation called Headspace. Headspace is an organisation specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage.

    We hope that you keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We're all here for you.

     
    1 person found this helpful
  4. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    im 16
  5. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to Dejena

    Dejena it definitely sounds like you’re finding life very stressful at the moment. Being a student is hard.

    The panic attacks you describe sound very intense. You describe a loud house, how many people live at your house? And how is your relationship with your parents?

  6. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    I’m asking questions to sort of get a better picture of your situation. I see you have a lot of thoughts and want to get them all out, but it can also be good to talk in a back and forth kind of way like this - it’s part of how we do our thinking, by talking in this way with another human. So if you can, just slow your thinking down..

    I’ll just put the questions here again so they’re at the bottom. You said you have a loud house, do you have brothers and/or sisters as well? What is your relationship with your parents like?

  7. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    my relationship with mt parents is good. there is 5 people in my house

  8. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    i have 2 brothers and 1 sister. i am the eldest one. i dont thunk i should be complaining becuase i have a great life compared to othr people
  9. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    how are u?

  10. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to Dejena

    I’m well thank you :)

    Do you ever talk to your parents about your anxiety and panic symptoms, or about your anxiety related to school work?

    School is a very stressful time. I certainly don’t look back at it fondly..

    So tell me, what’s this HHD you want to change from physics to, and what’s your other two science subjects?

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    HHD means health and human development, i heard that its a easy subject. i feel ifi change it that maybe i did somehing wrong. i also feel scared to talk to the pathways team and ask them to change it for me because is my fault that i choose physics. the other two science subjects im doing is bio and chem. yes, i talk to my parents, but this is my fault that i get annoyed and i should control it and try toignore. idk.

    what im saying is that even if i talk to my parents it doesnt change the fact that i get annoyed from noises and my ears will start to hurt from the headphones if i wear them for a long time, especally if the volume is loud. of course it needs to be loud so it can block out noise. the clattering and banging of dishes being washed and dried is ometimes to loud, and the headphones dont block i out completly.

    this is my problem, and i need to find ways to cope with it i think

    thank u for talking to be and listening to what im saying

  12. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    17 April 2021 in reply to Dejena

    It’s my pleasure talking with you Dejena.

    I’m sensing a lot of judgement you’re making about yourself:

    “It’s my fault... I should ignore it... I need to find ways to cope”.

    The last one is true: and reaching out for help is a step in the right direction :)

    So there’s many things we can look at- it’s great that you can talk to your parents.

    To me what stands out is your insistence that you have to do physics. It seems like there’s a lot of thinking to unpack there; I’d be glad to keep talking about that.

    First up though it seems you use headphones to try and block out the noise. Do you have loud music playing while you’re doing this and trying to study?

    Secondly, Clinical Psychologist Jordan Peterson has a little bit of wisdom in his book 12 rules of Life, one rule is roughly: treat yourself as you treat someone else you are charged with taking care of. What would you say to someone else who wanted to change out of physics and who was being hard on themselves?

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    18 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    i would tell the person that you need to try your best because you can change it, however u will still have a semester exam on it and need to pass. u should go to the pathways and tell them that u want to change your subkect no matter how affraid you are of what they think, because u know that your stuggling wih it and causin you a bit of stress. go the them and just ask, ask if u can change it. you might have to change the other classes up, you might still have hem with a diiferen teacheror somethin, or u might have to pick another subject or something. i dont know. just change it.

    do you know the teacher says that physics is easy, but not many picked it and most people are not doing well, including me.

    on my headphones i listen to rain.

  14. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    18 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    i feel like the back of my head is burning or something. hahahahaha

    what might have caused this? any ideas? just wondering

  15. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    18 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    you know what, im sick of myself and my thinking.

    i sick of feeling dumb

    i am sick of annoyed

    i jsut dont want any emotions and i dont want to feel anything.

  16. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    18 April 2021 in reply to Dejena

    When you say burning, do you mean actually burning? Or is it like a metaphor?

    It makes sense that we picture ourselves as being in our “head”, after all that’s where all the thinking comes from (our brain). But, our whole body is really involved when we get stressed or anxious. Our heart rate and blood pressure can increase, and many other things. It may be that you are getting so stressed that it’s causing you pain (I’m not a doctor though so this is not a diagnosis).

    You know what? From what I’ve heard, you sound anything but dumb. On the contrary you seem very intelligent- you’ve outlined many possible ideas to move forward. Life is full of difficult choices, and you’re actually thinking hard about them - unfortunately for your emotions. Anyone who has experienced anxiety over study has wanted to not feel, or think, or be annoyed. Let me tell you from personal experience I have felt that very often. And I am 30 now: I went and got a Bachelor of Music at University, then didn’t use it and took a break and just last year finished a degree in Psychology after studying part time for years. And I’m still studying with it, so I know intimately what you mean. I have much to share on that front.

    I think physics would be hard - i didnt choose it or bio or chem as a school student, but chose things I felt I would be able to do. I would actually love to pick it up to understand it better as an adult, maybe one day.

    None of this is to say you should or shouldn’t drop physics.

    Could it be that the anxiety you’re experiencing is due to two things: (1) this big choice you’re thinking of making (changing classes), and (2) the fact that it’s difficult to study in a noisy environment?

    If so, There’s two chunks you can split your problem up into.

    Also, Have you mentioned any of this to your parents? Friends?

  17. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    18 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    First of all, i would like to say congradulations on finishing a degree in Psychology after studying it part time. so, your a Psychologist now? you soud like one, even though i have never been to a Psychologist. You sound calm and patient. do u hate Music or are u more instreasted in psychology? is psychology hard? did u take it in high school year 11 and 12?

    no, i didnt mean a metaphor when i said i felt like the back of my head is burning. But, im fine now. i dont like its a huge problem. maybe its from tying my hair up.

    by the way my chest does not hurt anymore. sometimes it does a little bit. yes, i feel a little woried about changing classes, and the house is loud. i get scared of loud noises, i hate it. i dont know why. its all in my head i guess.

    everytime we have to back to school after the holiday i feel scared. everytime. we are going bcak to school tomorrow.

    yes, i have told my friends and parents that my chest hurts. my parents know that i hate noise. hating noise is sily thing to hate.

  18. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    18 April 2021 in reply to Dejena

    I still love music - actually recording an album at the moment with hopes of releasing it online this year. I basically had no idea what to do after school so I just went to university to do what I was good at - Music - in the hopes of finding employment as a school teacher. And I really didn't like the teaching at schools part, so that was disappointing. I developed in interest in philosophy during my first degree and psychology as well, after doing some CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) with a psychologist. Then after the music teaching fell apart I had some time looking for work and stuff and I just had this feeling like I'd regret it if I didn't try it. And the short story is that here I am now.

    No I didn't do anything related to people or psychology in high school. I had NO idea where I wanted to go in life. Psychology at university is very theory oriented, but it's more like English and language based, rather than bio/chem/physics being scientifically and mathematically based. But you do touch on concepts sort of like biology, especially when considering the physiology of the brain and its impact on behaviour. No I'm not a psychologist. Yet... After completing an honours year (4th year if one does full-time - I'm taking two years for it), then I will be able to apply to be a 'provisionally registered' psychologist, meaning that I'll have to do more training and study whilst being supervised for some time.

    Hey, I hate noise too. I have two young children, so noise is a very frequent thing. It's definitely not silly hating noise. It makes it hard to study... I know how you feel! Seems like you have a full house, so it may be difficult to get everyone quiet until bedtime comes around.

    Do you tie your hair up tight to try and focus? I know when I'm trying to focus real hard, every bodily sensation seems to be amplified and really distracting. Sounds like you might want to watch how tight you are tying it if it's burning. It's good that the chest pain has stopped. Since your doctor couldn't find any medical cause, you might want to try noting if your chest hurts in the future what thoughts have been going through your mind, and how you've been feeling.

    Tell me more about why you're scared about going back to school after these holidays. Have you had a break from study these holidays?

  19. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    18 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    i see, you will be becoming a psychologist soon.

    i am scared about going back to shcool because this semester we have exams for all out subjects. i have to write 3 creative pieces for the book Like a House on Fire. i think we have to write a statemnt of intention for each of them too or something. due on tuesday. on friday we have a test. i think we can choose any of them and they give u 2 choices. i havent even read the 3 short stories and wrote a epilohgue prologue and different charcter perspective or whatever its called. tommorw i have a resit for my physics test. i studied for it beofre the holidays. but i think i need to restudy. the resit is tommorw after school. we are allowed to bring a calculator and 2 double sided pices of paper to the test to help us. im not ready. i dont want to even study for it. i dont want to read the 3 short stories. in the short stores there is so many words i dont undertand. if i google oll of the words i dont undertand that will take more than 10 hours. on every page there is so nay words i dont get.

  20. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    18 April 2021 in reply to Dejena

    It seems like your mind is travelling at a million miles an hour, is that right? You have suggested that you wish to talk to the pathways team at your school. This sounds like a good idea, as they will have the expertise to advise you, and maybe could help you figure out if you do want to switch to HHD. Perhaps you could talk to someone there about a plan to break up your study into manageable pieces? Happy to talk about that in more depth here if you want. To use an analogy: it seems like you're frightened by looking into the forest and you can't see any trees. It could be beneficial to be able to focus on smaller things at a time.

    I'm noticing you're feeling a lot of pressure on in regards to the work involved. For instance the short stories: perhaps you could just focus on one story initially tomorrow, and do a little experiment: write down the words you don't understand, but keep reading through, then at the end, do a count and see how many of them there are, and then google them. If this is too much, then just make a tally on a piece of paper when you don't understand a word, and then count up how many tally marks you made. What do you think? No pressure; but I'd love to hear the outcome if you tried one of these things.

    Also, you seem afraid of talking to the pathways team, and what they may think of you. Would you like to talk about this more?

  21. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    18 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    p.s., in regards to reading through, sometimes it can still be good to read through a story and get the gist of it, the general meaning, even if you don't understand some stuff.
    1 person found this helpful
  22. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    19 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    Also, you seem afraid of talking to the pathways team, and what they may think of you. Would you like to talk about this more?

    well, i actullay went to them last year and asked if i could change it to psychology, but they said it was full. i could have told them to change it to something else, but i didnt. i told them why i choose physics in the first place: beacuse i thouht i needed it to become a eye doctor. she said i didnt need it and sked who told me that. thats embarassing.

    i actually dont really know what i want to beome in the future, i think a eye doctor. but i dont know.

    i wanted to cry while i was talking to them. lol. i was nervous.

  23. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    19 April 2021 in reply to Dejena
    im trying to study and my chest hurts, dont know what to do anymore
  24. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    19 April 2021 in reply to Dejena

    Do you still want to be an eye doctor? It’s interesting that you don’t need physics for that. Quite often we are mistaken - eg thinking you need physics for that later course of study. There’s so much information out there in the world that it’s easy for anyone - myself included - to be incorrect about things. But I think it’s fine to be mistaken. Now you know. Were you embarrassed because of the way they acted toward you? Some people are not as sensitive as they should be.

    What kind of environment are you trying to study in? Were you up early again before school?

  25. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    19 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    You may wish to try a mindfulness meditation, which may be calming. There’s a cool app called Headspace, which has some free content you could try to get started. Let me know if you want to talk about that further.

    Also, I noticed how the face your parents make when they pick you up from the library troubles you, and also the interaction with the pathways team... Does it often seem to you like people are annoyed or judgemental?

  26. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    19 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    i didnt sleep
  27. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    233 posts
    19 April 2021 in reply to Dejena

    Dejena it would probably be of benefit for you to talk to someone properly face to face, it really seems like you have a lot of anxiety. Keep talking to me as long as you want though.

    Sorry, I missed that you said you don’t know if you still want to become an eye doctor. Its alright if you don’t know what you want to do yet. For the most part that can be figured out in your own time. It seems like two obstacles in front of you at the moment are deciding whether or not to change subjects, and how to cope with the study load. Is that something you’d like to talk about to try and problem solve?

  28. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    19 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    you think i have a lot of anxiety. i think other hhave higher. mine istn that bad

    'Keep talking to me as long as you want though' thank you

    i just finihsed my re sit test fot physics. i think i did better than last time. but maybe i failed. there is a possibility that i failed maybe. the passing mark is 40%. its pretty low. if i pass with the test with 40% that is good enough. at least i passed.

    should i stay up everytday. the olnty time it os qquite is at night. i do kinda feel weridfdoung homework at night. its not a noraml thing to do right? have u heard of anyone that doesn homework at night instaed of sleeping becuae o fthe noise durin the day? io? its only me that is crazy?

  29. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    19 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    for you to talk to someone properly face to face your saying? like who? my mum?
  30. Dejena
    Dejena avatar
    64 posts
    19 April 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    im sorry if i sound mad. sorry if i sunded rude. plase forgive me

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