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Topic: stress and choosing between two things that are really important to me

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Sky Smith
    Sky Smith avatar
    3 posts
    5 October 2019

    so basically i'm a very spiritual person who has this one religious teacher who is coming to Australia next year. this is quite rare and only happens every 2-3 years. they're staying for 4 weeks in town but there are two problems:

    - the time i want to go is overlapping by a week with schooltime (during the last week of school) and my family thinks i won't be able to handle it because i'd get too stressed, etc.

    - on the 2-week holidays the day after I'd come back from these teachings, we're going to Japan to see my grandparents but i'm worried it's going to be way too much for me to handle. mainly because my dad doesn't want to take off a day from our holiday for me to re-pack and recuperate once i come back.

    so i suggested doing it the holidays after that, except he thinks my grandparents are getting 'old,' which is a politically correct term for 'really unhealthy and frail,' and he doesn't want to risk it. of course i don't either and this adds an entirely new level of stress and pain to my situation. i'm so sad because i know they probably don't have a long time left, so i should visit them ASAP, except how am i when i need to go to these teachings, but don't even have a day to repack and everything? i hate travelling and it's going to be awful for me if i have to come back from a flight one day, then leave on another in the next, without having any time to pack or do anything. i know that sounds like a weak reason for getting so stressed out but honestly i hate, hate planes and flying. absolutely can't stand it. it's a 9-hour flight to Japan and that in itself is really hard for me. when i fly i always have to take heavy medication to calm me down. so yes, it's going to be almost impossible for me, let alone the fact that i would have just finished doing truckloads of schoolwork.

    and that's the other thing. my school is Christian. i'm Buddhist. if i take a week off school for religious reasons, they probably won't give me an extension. no, i'm SURE they won't give me an extension because it's a private school and they don't allow these things. i've heard that once my friend took a week off school for a holiday and the school gave them so much crap for it.

    it's so hard for me because i know this religious teacher is also quite old and who knows, he may never come back to Australia before he dies. i have no idea. so basically i'm choosing between two sets of people that i both love so much. freaking out over here.


  2. Summer Rose
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    Summer Rose avatar
    1518 posts
    5 October 2019 in reply to Sky Smith

    Hi Sky Smith

    It seems you have quite the dilemma on your hands. I can understand why you're freaking out.

    The consequences of going to Japan and participating in the religious instruction are quite concerning and it sounds like doing both just isn't going to work. I realise that's a bitter pill to swallow but sometimes it's just not possible to do everything we want in life.

    I would keep it simple and choose between the two options. While it's impossible to know the future, I wonder how you would feel to miss out on seeing your grandparents again, as compared to delaying your religious instruction for a few years?

    Listen to your gut instinct. What feels like the right thing to do?

    Kind thoughts to you

  3. Desedrata
    Desedrata avatar
    93 posts
    7 October 2019 in reply to Sky Smith

    You sound like a beautiful soul and it is a grand thing that you have so much love to give but perhaps there is another way of looking at this?, say from your grandparents and teachers perspective. Your grandparents have loved you unconditionally for an entire lifetime and wish to see you for what may be the last time they will get.

    Your teacher whilst being flattered that you chose them, may be a little taken a back that you chose them over family.

    Usually this is where I tell someone to do what is best for them but perhaps this time I will make an exception and emplore you to be selfless just this once and go to your grandparents.

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