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Topic: Stressed about new job.

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Betriouffift
    Betriouffift avatar
    6 posts
    27 October 2019

    I recently got a new job as a dishwasher for a casual dining restaurant, making this my second job I've ever received, I quit my first job after a couple of months due to overwhelming stress during that period of my life, which caused me to panic and break down when on my shifts and it just became too much.

    After a long while of not working, I believed I could get back into it with my newly acquired skills, and I tried really hard to get the job I currently have now by running around and applying to every store and restaurant that I could, until this restaurant decided to put me on for a trial, they really liked me and I enjoyed myself so I got hired.

    My first shift was two weeks ago and was pretty stressful, it was on a Thursday and I was required to stay until 11:45PM to clean up after the store had closed, I ended up going to sleep very late and spending money on an Uber to get home and was a zombie the next day, but I didn't worry too much, my next shift was easier, even though I was alone.

    My next shift was fine, until my most recent shift, which lasted 6 hours since I was brought in early, I did well for the start and didn't worry too much, until later in the shift, I began to get an anxious and overwhelming feeling of 'I really don't want to be here', I'm frustrated because I was hoping I wouldn't get this feeling anymore, but it still seems to be present and it makes working a lot harder because of how worried I am to go to my next shift.

    I know its important to give it time, but this feeling didn't subside at my first job, despite being there for months, I've tried strategies to calm myself down in stressful situations but most don't work or are very temporary, causing me to sort of feel trapped in my mind of what I want to do, the stakes are high for the job as I really need it to pay for important expenses, so I can't leave this time, but I just want to make the transition into comfort a lot easier, any suggestions?

  2. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8668 posts
    28 October 2019 in reply to Betriouffift

    Hi Betrioffift,

    Congratulations on getting the job in the first place. It sounds like you worked really hard to get a position. Well done. That takes a lot of effort and determination. Maybe you could remind yourself of how much you have achieved in obtaining your position.

    Would you feel comfortable sharing some of the strategies you have used in the past to try to help yourself? Can you share what has been successful and what hasn't helped so much?

    Sometimes we need to keep trying. That is something I have to tell myself frequently! If a strategy does not work one day, that doesn't mean it can't work in the future.

    Are there ways you can distract your mind while you are at work? Are there other people there you can talk with or are you by yourself some of the time?

    Can you do math sums in your head as you are working, think of animals that start with every letter of the alphabet, tell yourself it is okay to feel a little anxious, these are just thoughts and they will pass eventually.

    Would you consider talking with a Dr , counsellor or psychologist about how you are feeling so you can receive some help?

    Maybe write down all the reasons you are at work and the benefits and that might help to put your mind in a different pathway as well.

    All the best, cheers from Dools

  3. romantic_thi3f
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
    3050 posts
    29 October 2019 in reply to Betriouffift

    Hi Betriouffift,

    Welcome to the forums and thank you for being here. Congratulations on your new job! I'm sorry to hear that you're having these thoughts of not wanting to be there though; I imagine that it's probably making the time feel slower too.

    What is it about the job that's giving you those thoughts? Maybe tackling that directly can help change your mindset, especially if there's part of it that can be challenged perhaps or that is temporary.

    The other thing that might help you transition is to look at some of the good things about your job; even if that can be difficult! It could be the fact that you have a great team to work with, or that there's always something to do, or the quiet moments when you have to clean up, or even if you get some free food! Even if the things you find are little, incorporating gratitude in your life will help with your mindset. You could even go so far as to build on that - i.e. how can you make the most of your time there? What skills can you learn or friendships can you make?

    Hope this helps.


  4. Betriouffift
    Betriouffift avatar
    6 posts
    30 October 2019 in reply to Doolhof

    I'm often reminded and I do tell myself that I honestly worked really hard to get this job, I put myself out there and just tried to get any reply and it did work out and I was very happy about receiving the job in the first place.

    Its hard for me to explain the feelings I get, and to some these feelings are unnatural, and sometimes I have to agree. I do understand that anyone can get this feeling when first getting a job or going into a new job, and I suppose its fear of the unknown. I tried simple things like breathing deeply to calm down and I already regularly exercise, and I can get a good mindset, but I just cant seem to shake off the butterflies in my stomach when I'm arriving, thinking about my next shift, or a bunch of dishes are handed to me, stuff like that.

    I'm determined to keep the job, or at least work long enough to find something I enjoy more, but I just have trouble understanding how much I need the job and why I'm there. Like I've been told things like 'Just go there and earn money and that's all there is to it" and I can tell myself that, but then I think what if something does go wrong, then when something happens that I didn't expect or something intimidating at work, like a huge dinner rush of dishes or something I get that feeling.

    I honestly enjoy dedicating my time to work hard and earn money, and I'm grateful for the opportunity and responsibility given to me. I just don't want to get nervous every time before a shift and I want to make it a regular part of my life without the stress behind it. For some reason that's just difficult at the moment, am I not asking enough questions? Or do I need to take more time to get to know the crew?

    Honestly even doing things like that make me nervous as I'm a wreck when it comes to meeting new people. I just want to somehow implement how hard I work at school and while exercising and put it into work. I have a lot of reasons to continue working hard, and I will.

    I'm seeing a psychologist soon, as I've already brought this up with my councillor, I'm hoping that I can get a better understanding on what I'm actually feeling and maybe get some advice on how to combat these feelings.

    Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.

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