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Topic: Struggling to be happy

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. Razzle3456
    Razzle3456 avatar
    2 posts
    7 January 2020

    Hey everyone, I’m pretty new to the forum thing so here it goes:

    I’m about to go into my last year of university, and I just feel sad. Last year was one of my hardest years of study, I moved out of home fully (was at college for 3 years), and I was navigating 2 new jobs and a new relationship. Relationship side of things is great, but everything else is a nightmare.
    I constantly feel stressed and it’s gotten to the point where I’m so anxious about hanging out social outings, work, or anything that I really enjoyed going to in the past. My partner has been a great support, but I really don’t want to be reliant on the one person.

    Currently I’m snapping at really small things, I feel really insignificant, and I just don’t like me at the moment. I’m crying at least once a week getting in my own head, but now I just feel sad.

    Have been reading some stuff online here, but I’m just struggling to be happy again.

    would love to hear any advice, because I hate feeling like this.

  2. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    4306 posts
    9 January 2020 in reply to Razzle3456
    Hi and welcome to beyond blue.

    It sounds as though you have a fair bit on your plate at the moment - 2 jobs, study, relationship, looking after yourself.

    There are some positives in your post as well, and can also create stress. In your last year at Uni. Moved out of home. I can remember many students not completing 2nd year.at the same time this can also be stressful. You might be thinking of what you will do next year.

    You said that you did not want to be reliant on one person. Are there any friends or family that you can talk to about what you are going through presently?

    Space will prevent me from telling my story here. I am amazed that you have been able to do everything you have as I am very I would struggle.

    At this minute I would suggest you look at the K10 test on the beyond blue website.

    I am also interested in your story and would share any tips I can with you. I hope you come back to share more of your story.
  3. Nurse Jenn
    Health professional
    • Health professional
    Nurse Jenn avatar
    427 posts
    10 January 2020

    Hi there Razzle3456,

    Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing low mood and all the symptoms you describe. This must be so tough especially when you have had so many positive things occur concurrently. You are not alone. Having a low mood and worry is really common. You have taken some positive steps towards getting some support such as visiting the forum and using your partner as a key support person. smallwolf has provided some great strategies such as completing a K10 and I just thought I would add a few more directions you might consider.

    If you are over 18, there is an online program called Mindspot. It is a free program that uses both online and phone support towards helping improve low mood and worry. You can read about the program and see if its right for you by going to the website and having a look. www.mindspot.org.au

    Another program that is available in some parts of Australia is called the Developed by Beyond Blue program called NewAccess. NewAccess is also a free service that supports people with low mood and worry. You can read about the program by heading to this page on the Beyond Blue website and see if it is available in your area. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/newaccess


    A really good place to start is your GP who may be able to suggest other care options locally. The programs above do not require a GP to gain access to care and may be a good starting point though I still recommend a GP being central as they can follow you on your healing journey.

    l looking forward to hearing more from you if you feel comfortable sharing. We are listening.

    Wishing you the best possible outcome,

    Nurse Jenn

  4. Razzle3456
    Razzle3456 avatar
    2 posts
    10 January 2020 in reply to smallwolf

    Thanks for the suggestion. I did the K10 test and the result was 43 (high).

    My big issue Is that I’m really nervous going to see a GP, purely because I’ve spoken to a cou sell or in the past that didn’t really help too much other than a good vent. I’m also very time/money poor, so it’s hard for me to make appointments, etc.

    what more of the story did you want to know? I guess I just don’t know where to begin

  5. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    1407 posts
    10 January 2020 in reply to Razzle3456

    Hi Razzle3456

    First, want to start by saying you're a definite legend. You have achieved a massive amount in the past few years or so. Again, LEGEND!

    I'll ask about something you may not have considered, you don't have to answer by the way (just something to give thought to). Do you see yourself as someone who copes with stress or do you see yourself as someone who constantly rises to challenges? The amount of challenges you've risen to would be enough to exhaust anyone. You definitely need to treat yourself to a 'This legend needs a break' holiday.

    How often do you challenge yourself to rest or re-energise? Re-energising is probably one of the most important aspects of life. Running on empty can, without a doubt, impact mind, body and spirit. After all, how can we get a buzz out of life when the energy we need to feel the buzz is seriously depleted?

    Crying...cry your eyes out but be careful because crying is another thing that can leave us feeling exhausted. Sounds weird perhaps but basically the body releases what it doesn't need (it cries, yawns, pees, poops, sighs and all the rest). If the crying is stress related, exhaust the stress as consciously as you can. Example: Instead of crying or sobbing the words 'I am hopeless', try crying the words 'This challenge is bl**dy massive!' You might even want to sob (as a follow up) 'and I haven't figured out yet how to rise to it without feeling completely exhausted'. 'Yet' implies you'll figure it out at some stage. You might decide to do some brain storming with friends, family or your partner. Challenge them to help you rise to the challenges you face. They might even suggest facing the challenge of dropping one to the jobs you're working.

    It might pay to give serious consideration to a retreat of some kind. You know, one of those spas. Get family to fund it if they can. Anyone who realises how hard you've worked will want to fund what is basically a reward and a form of natural therapy (if they've got the cash). Gosh, even I feel like funding it. You deserve it. The thing about a retreat is - it's a way of re- treating your self to what you deserve in life: Peace, relaxation, a chance to re-energise, care, attention and so much more. If you've never treated yourself to such things...well...it's about time. You're special, you're an inspiration and you've been raising yourself in the most powerful and amazing ways.

    Sigh, cry...let it out so you can make room for what you truly deserve - only the best.


  6. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    4306 posts
    10 January 2020 in reply to Razzle3456

    Hello again, a few thoughts...

    Have you spoken to anyone at student services at Uni where you are studying? They might be able to give advice. Other groups like Anglicare and UnitingCare also believe that everyone should have access to mental health service regardless of status or income.

    In relation to your story.... start wherever you want! I see a psychologist periodically and tend to jump all over the place even though I have a list of things on my phone to talk about. So my "advice" to you would be to start wherever it makes sense to you.


  7. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    1407 posts
    11 January 2020 in reply to Razzle3456

    Hi again Razzle

    Just popped into my head: One of the toughest things about giving yourself a holiday is the returning process and boy can it feel like a process at times. It can definitely feel a little soul destroying when we come back to the daily grind.

    The retreat idea I mentioned: Some retreats are designed specifically with the returning aspect in mind. Whilst holidays can have us re-turning (turning again) back to who we don't want to be or to aspects of life we seriously don't want to experience, more soulful retreats can offer the benefits of showing folk how to re-turn to a more natural self, a more natural life. They can offer aspects regarding

    • How to understand what your energy is doing (if it's being drained, how you can naturally charge up etc, aspects to naturally avoid or rise to and even dietary aspects)
    • How to make necessary demands on others
    • How you can get your sensitivity to work for you in positive ways. Eg: If someone says 'Gee, you're lazy' and you know you've just finished working your but off and deserve the lazing period, instead of feeling angry, your sensitivity to such a comment becomes your wake up call to challenge this person (if you wish to). 'You obviously are unable to recognise when a person needs to laze and re-charge' is a comment which can help raise the consciousness of that person
    • Some retreats will even provide the opportunity to constructively vent. Venting helps us in avoiding becoming a human pressure cooker that's about to blow

    You get the gist.

    Re-turning to life after such a retreat, can have us return with skills we never had before. They are basically skills in self understanding and the nature of life and how it ticks.

    No need to consider this right now. Maybe it will be a consideration which becomes more interesting as you near the end of your course (if it's your cup of tea). Perhaps it could be a graduation gift you could gradually save for and give to yourself. If by some chance the topic is raised throughout the year, you might even be inspired to think 'Ooh, maybe I'm meant to do this'. Keep an open mind, for imagination and adventure (adding ventures) is exactly what fuels the child in us, our most natural aspect of self.


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