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Topic: Struggling to cope with life decisions

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. MBH
    MBH avatar
    1 posts
    23 February 2020

    Last night and tonight I have struggled to cope with my decision on having a termination 6 months ago. This was my second termination. I was too scared that if I didn’t I would lose both loves (two terminations in two different relationships) of my life. I lost one because he was against it all along and I originally chose the baby over him. But my most recent one my amazing partner stayed by my side and still is.

    I know some may think I’m dumb for giving up two precious lives for boys. But I was scared to lose them. I still am scared to lose this one but I think he deserves better than to listen to what I have to say about this and listen to me cry.

    What hurts me most is that I believe that what if the most recent baby that I terminated was my last chance. What if the world believes I shouldn’t have my own child because I gave up the fight on those two precious lives. Just as a punishment

    if anyone has gone through this and has come out the other side happy and enjoying life please I need some help with coping I just don’t know what to do

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    8228 posts
    24 February 2020 in reply to MBH

    Hi, welcome

    Gee, my heart goes out to you.

    I can only help you in terms of- worry. You are wrapped up in “what if’s” and worry only gives you ulcers.

    The most important thing now is future action in terms of preventive measures to stop another repeat and therefore seeking guidance from professionals hopefully with your amazing partner as support and inclusion.

    There is a distinct difference between worry and wise planning.

    Put the following in the search bar-

    worry worry worry

    who cries over spilt milk?

    TonyWK

  3. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    2715 posts
    24 February 2020 in reply to MBH

    Hi MBH,

    Welcome to the forums and thank you for being here and sharing your story.

    I don't think that you are dumb at all - quite the opposite. I feel really sad for you in thinking what it might have been like to have to make that decision and how hard it must have been. Especially twice.

    While this is my own personal belief, I don't think the world conspires and punishes people. I think it can be really unfair sometimes, but to me it's never a reflection on yourself and the decisions you've made. I truly believe that there is every chance you could have a baby again when it feels like the right time for you.

    What sort of support do you have around you? Is there anyone that you've been able to confide in and lean on?

    I hope that this helps in some way. At the very least I want you to know that we hear you and we are here for you.

    rt

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