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Topic: very lucky but never happy?

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. isabellen
    isabellen avatar
    3 posts
    6 June 2021

    I’ve got a lot of good things going on, I got moved up to the top of the state youth activity group I’m in, my friends are always so nice to me and I have nice parents and family as well, I’m able to pass tests with an A or B without studying, but I often find myself very miserable and feeling very lonely despite my friends

    im not diagnosed with depression, I’ve never even been to a psychologist, I just think it could possibly be this. I cant really think of a good cause for any of this. My gran passed away about 1-2 months ago and while we knew she didn’t have too much longer I was upset at first, but since the first day I haven’t felt anything and I feel guilty for that, she lives on the other side of the globe and that’s probably why. I don’t think it has too much to do with it though. I can only else think of maybe the amount of assignments that I’ve had homework in the last week, maybe my lack of concentration in the last few months, particularly the fact I often feel lonely - my other friends either have a reasonable social life and they’ve had a boyfriend or whatnot, or theyre introverted and fine being alone, I’ve got a fairly sizeable social life and I often recognise people in the street but I haven’t found anyone who really seems to care about me much. This also makes me feel like maybe I have a bad personality or I’m ugly

    kind of a rant, there’s more about my friends and the loneliness but I don’t want to drag this on, I rlly don’t know what to say

  2. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    5196 posts
    6 June 2021 in reply to isabellen
    Hey Isabellle,

    Welcome to the Beyond Blue community. Thank you so much for reaching out tonight and sharing some of your history with us. We understand it can be pretty nerve-wracking to create a thread for the first time, so thank you for doing so.

    We're sorry to hear how low you've been feeling lately and your uncertainty as to why. We can hear that you feel quite lonely despite having friends and a social life. It sounds as though you're looking for someone to really connect with and feel like you can trust. Please feel free to share more with us about your friends and your experiences of loneliness. You've come to a safe space and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need. If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

    We hope that you keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We're all here for you.
    1 person found this helpful
  3. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    210 posts
    6 June 2021 in reply to isabellen

    Hi isabellen,

    Welcome to the forums. The forums are filled with very supportive and loving people, and you're always welcome to share whatever is on your mind.

    Sorry to hear you're feeling this way, and my condolences about your grandmother too. I had a similar experience to you as well. My grandmother passed away in 2018, and she was living in South East Asia. Apart from a slight feeling of sadness, I quickly recovered from that feeling and felt a sense of guilt from the fact that I showed not much compassion about her passing away. But I reasoned with myself that it is mainly due to the weak bonds that I had with my grandmother, as my opportunity to see her in my life time, was very little. But knowing that she passed away peacefully, and that she was ready to depart even without my presence, it helped with my sense of guilt, and I was able to move on from it.

    Please do share more about your friends and the loneliness that you're feeling. Your feelings are valid, and you're never alone. I'm ready to listen to you.

    Jt

    1 person found this helpful
  4. isabellen
    isabellen avatar
    3 posts
    7 June 2021 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Hi jt,

    thank you very much for your reply! It’s strange, I usually only have these feelings in the afternoon. I think the recent homework that I’ve been getting has been affecting my mood as well, I’m very behind on a few things. Sometimes I think I’m also taking some of my friends’ problems like one of them who is used to getting everything she wants, and it’s tricky trying to balance everything out then I sometimes feel guilty for making her upset or leaving my other friends.
    some of these things have been going on for a while now though, so I don’t know why I’m only now feeling these emotions stronger.

    Isabellen

  5. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    210 posts
    7 June 2021 in reply to isabellen

    Hi Isabellen,

    Thank you for sharing those thoughts. Sorry to hear that you're behind on your homework. Hopefully you're able to catch up on it. Is your recent homework a difficult and lengthy task? I was wondering since you mentioned about taking on your friend's problems sometimes, do you feel it might be taking up much of your time that could've been put towards your own needs (for example, completing your homework)?

    It's good to be able to identify your own boundaries, to be able to take care of your own needs first before attending to others. Taking care of your own needs first isn't a sign of selfishness, but a sign of self-love. Loving yourself will help you grow your self-esteem, as you learn to trust your decisions and feelings. Plus let others handle their own expectations, while you handle your own expectation. Meeting other people's expectation is unrealistic, as it is something out of your control. I feel that might be why you're feeling a sense of guilt when you can't meet your friend's demands, and feeling the guilt within yourself for not being able to meet your own needs of socializing with other friends.

    I would recommend giving the Kids Help Line a call as what Sophie_M suggested, they'll be able to assist you better in identifying the root cause for you to be feeling this way. I'm always happy to listen to you more as well isabellen. Please do share more, I'm here for you.

    Jt

  6. isabellen
    isabellen avatar
    3 posts
    7 June 2021 in reply to jtjt_4862

    Thank you so much, jt, it’s been a big help just to be able to talk to someone about this stuff. It’s taken a heap off my shoulders and i might give kids helpline a ring if I’m still feeling down next week.

    You’ve been a great help!

    isabellen

  7. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    210 posts
    7 June 2021 in reply to isabellen

    Hi Isabellen,

    Its great to hear that you’re feeling better. Keep us posted on how you go, we’re always here for you!

    Jt

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