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Topic: Why I never date!

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. JPD1998
    JPD1998 avatar
    3 posts
    10 January 2021
    Hi - I know this is quite common in the world but I really struggle dealing with my overthinking mind while dating. Once I go on a date and if it goes really well I tend to stress alot to the point that my stomach is pain. My mind goes straight to does he like me does he hate me. What happens if he's not ready? Am I not right for him. I try to do breathing exercises I try alot of things to just have a break from feeling anxious. Like it can last for weeks. I never use to be like this but I've been ghosted once and it just has done a number on me. This is the first time I dated in a while and it kinda reminds me why I don't do it, but I know I have to stick through it. I don't know if I should take this as a sign that I'm not ready or I am ready and it's my anxiety winning.
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9135 posts
    10 January 2021 in reply to JPD1998
    Hi, welcome

    I'm 64yo. When younger I'd suffer similar reactions. Being older I've got a different view of how is go about dating.

    Ok, first date, just enjoy and seek a spark, if it's there then organise another before the end of the date.

    Before the second date you'll question yourself. Thats ok, from and bare it. But during the second date you would be best to consider a few direct questions e.g.

    Where do you want toy be in 5, 10, 15 years.? If he doesn't include having a family and it's on your list then you have a problem.

    There is a million questions you can ask. You'll work them out. What your plan should be is to limit your anxiety between date by getting answers to questions.

    I hope that helps.

    Google
    Beyondblue topic the best praise you'll ever get

    TonyWK
    1 person found this helpful
  3. Kara00
    Kara00 avatar
    3 posts
    10 January 2021 in reply to JPD1998

    Hi there :)

    I have a similar feeling in relationships. I know it's really scary - but if you feel comfortable enough with your partner you should go up to them and let them know about how you get really anxious. They can help you with this then by reassuring you they love you/like you and enjoy spending time with you. I know it's really scary to go up to someone and say that and be vulnerable - but if this person really likes you and is the right person for you, they'll do that little task of smiling at you every so often and telling you how you're important to them.

    I hope this helped a little x

    1 person found this helpful
  4. JPD1998
    JPD1998 avatar
    3 posts
    11 January 2021 in reply to white knight
    Thank you. I honestly never thought about how like asking questions can resolve the anxiety. Thank you.
    1 person found this helpful
  5. JPD1998
    JPD1998 avatar
    3 posts
    11 January 2021 in reply to Kara00
    Yeah I definitely need to be honest. Honesty is the best policy. Thank you 😊
    1 person found this helpful

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